Mehhh.

Just got back from Mel's mum birthday celebration dinner. *Burp*

Logged on to Friendster and saw this:

Subject:
hi
Message:
hey !Wanna meet for do somethings, just msg me or call me .... ..!John the great rider. here is my no. 93819312.

Men. And the English. Brr. He's not even in my friend list!

Thank goodness I've been surrounded by oestrogen all my life and escaped the evil clutches of testosterones.

Yes, feel free to give prank calls to that guy on my account, and mock him for his English. I'm too tired to bother. Grazie, Molto gentile.

Anyway, if you've been watching Project Superstar, do give my junior from sec. sch a vote! M2 - Leon Lim. I'm real proud that someone from Naval Base Sec is able to fulfill his dreams.

My father wants us - namely me, my bro, my sis-in-law, and their daughter - to go to M'sia on Tuesday to celebrate his birthday.

When my mum called me, I was like, what the f*ck, he'd NEVER asked us to go celebrate his birthday before! Yea, I don't know his D.o.B. Heard that he's been asking about how I am from my brother when they chat occasionally over the phone. That's... nice, I guess.

Sometimes cusp of incandescence overtakes me and makes me scornful towards my parents for not giving me a complete childhood... I really love my mom, but, she was a mother whom I saw less than 2 hours a day, beat the daylight out of me and rummaged through my diaries and belongings, and a father who is more like a distant relative, who left my life since I was 3 and abused my mum.

That made the recalcitrant girl I am today.

I can't imagine what my life would be today, if I did not have my nanny take care of me for 11 years.

I'm not going to be ostentatious and say that I don't feel anything about my father, but it's only a longing that he's the father I don't really have.

Even tho he did want custody of me back then, I kinda felt like he has repudiated me over the years. You get what I mean?

I know some might say that it's better not to have a father, than to have a bad one. True... But still, I've kinda always wanted my father to be at the "red table" on the day I marry, but then, he wasn't around even when my bro got married(because of my mum's consort), so I guess it's fairly impossible.

Do I, do I need to buy a present for him? Man, I don't know! Maybe I'm panicking. My internal monologue is screaming, "Don't go! Don't go!" *Takes a deep breath*

Sigh. Nevermind, let's not talk about this. Anyway, I'm going to City Hall tomorrow to pick up my BTVS figurines! They're actually villian characters, but it's a start. Yay Yahoo Auctions!

Anyway, here's this:

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on educationYou may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Wow, this sounds familiarly like me. =P



My spirits, as in a dream, are all bound up.
My father's loss, the weakness which I feel,
The wreck of all my friends, nor this man's threats,
To whom I am subdued, are but light to me,
Might I but through my prison once a day
Behold this maid: all corners else o' the earthLet liberty make use of; space enough
Have I in such a prison.

- Ferdinand, The Tempest Act I, Scene II, William Shakespeare