Guilt.

guilt  /gɪlt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [gilt] Show IPA
–noun 1. the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability: He admitted his guilt.
2. a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
3. conduct involving the commission of such crimes, wrongs, etc.: to live a life of guilt.

Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes—accurately or not—that they have violated a moral standard, and is responsible for that violation. It is closely related to the concept of remorse.

Catholic Guilt

Catholic guilt is the term used to identify the supposed excess guilt felt by Catholics and lapsed Catholics. The term Catholic Guilt is controversial as it is not clearly differentiated from the guilt felt by members of other religions or moral codes.

Living in sin, with sin, by sin, for sin, every hour, every day, year in, year out. Waking up with sin in the morning, seeing the curtains drawn on sin, bathing it, dressing it, clipping diamonds to it, feeding it, showing it round, giving it a good time, putting it to sleep at night with a tablet of Dial if it's fretful. Always the same, like an idiot child carefully nursed, guarded from the world.

But sometimes, on a defiant day, I would tell myself, "Never regret anything because it was what we wanted. What we want. Guilt is the price we pay willingly for doing what we are going to do anyway."


In ipsa dubitatione facinus inest, etiamsi ad id non pervenerint.
Guilt is present in the very hesitation, even though the deed be not committed.


Has it been 8 months, already?


While I know I often preach, "No apologies, no regrets", and that I said once that I've stopped listening to my conscience, it IS there. Nagging, tugging at me. Every recollection of you is bittersweet because it is tinged with the burden of guilt. But I must admit, there was also the pleasure, the joy, the excitement.

I am smart, but not too intelligent. I'm courageous, but not too brave. Not brave or intelligent enough to know what to do.


What about you? Do you?