-_-""!!

Fark fark fark... I typed a whole chunk of entry just now, but I'd accidentally pressed ctrl or alt + something and ALL WAS GONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Blah!

Sigh. Just finished my ham & cheese fettuccine twists and soyabean milk for my late dinner cum supper just now. Yummilicious =d

I dreamt twice, yesterday and today. First one was hilarious... I dreamt that I was moving house or something, and I was at my old house packing up my stuff. Funny thing really... I ALWAYS dream of my old house at Amk Ave 3 whenever there's a house involved, and not my current home at Amk Central. And the dreams are generally baddd, like being chased, or ghost encounters, etc. I guess the old house really did give me the hibigibees. I did have some ghostly encounters there, after all.

Hmm, I think I rather talk about my past experiences at my old house rather than my dreams xD I only remember 3 of 'em.

I was 10 when I returned to live with my mother after staying with my nanny from childbirth, and I'd started out sleeping together with my mum even tho I'd got my own room. She used to have those small yellow lamp on for me because I was afraid of the dark.

One night, I was still stirring about in bed, watching the shadows of my movements dancing across the wall. There were extra movements suddenly... I saw shadows dance across the room casted by the yellow lamp right beside the shadows of my own feet, which weren't moving.

I was stunned and I looked around to see if there was anything around the lamp or if my mum was stirring. There weren't. Brrr!!! I continued to see it alternate between random movements to actually shifting in a continuous movement. I almost cried out but I cowered behind my blanket before I finally fell asleep.

Newsflash: Sorry, no time to update further for now, Jasmine just called to jio me to Eski-bar. It's an offer too tantalising at the moment for me to reject. Gotta fly, ttyl!

So cute so cute! Madagascar!

The lemur is so cute! xD Mel's mum got 2 free movie passes so we went to catch Madagascar earlier on. The movie's okay, but there were some really hilarious moments. I like to move it move it...

Had dinner at Fiesta before that. Mel's treat =d I feel so spoiltttt~ Lol I'm running him bankrupt tho', I seriously have to curb this splurging. Getting spoilt and spent the savings= Big nono.

I had been so bored recently, I'd download season 1 of Angel. Gweehehe. That's about 68gb of episodes I've downloaded so far. The PC can hardly take it anymore! I had to burn some into CDs, transfer some to the hard disk drive etc etc, maybe I should have bought a nice sturdy hard disk drive to store all my downloads than buy that cam.

Nahhh, who am I kidding? I've been waiting for that digicam all year! Lmao.

Right, then. Time to get back to more reading. Ta.



And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.

- Revelations 6:8 (No, I'm not a bloody Christian or something, I just like this line.)

zZz

I was so happy earlier on when he bought me a 4200ZS at the creative warehouse sale. It was not an anniversary or birthday, but he still forked out $350 all the same.

Then he decided it'll be okay to royally piss me off. Screw him.

I mean, is it my fault that he constantly sleeps? And must I do all the stuff for him, even his CS training for him? I have my own stuff to do! I tried to wake him up nicely and he consistently chewed my head off and ask me to do it, when it was HE who asked me to wake him up.

Sigh. *Breathes in and out and counts to 10* Forget it. Lemme just move on to dedicate this entry to him(not that my blog entries are worth any money, I know) since he was sweet.


2 years ago, I secretly made a wish on his bday, hoping it'll be granted along with his.



I wished that I'll have lobsters to eat everyday. It wasn't granted, but there, he took a photo with a lobster to comfort me. Wearing my shirt. Oh well.




Frailty, thy name is woman!

- Hamlet (I, ii, 146), William Shakespeare

One of the rare smiling pics I have... Heh.

Ah, forgotten about the pics. Comments are welcomed, but the following images might be disturbing. Lol.

Was just trying to strike a sexy pose, albeit having a conservative nature. DON'T laugh. =_="

New pics!

*Having a inner struggle* My pics are usually butt-ugly or blurry, and I wish I have Photoshop to touch up my pics but... Bah. Too lazy. If I can't download it, I won't use it =P

Went for another check up again. Bloody injection... Hurt like hell! I haveta go back next week again for another injection. This sucks. a $5 worth of ear piercing and earring cost me $300+ in return. Bah -_-

Wanted to go to the Creative warehouse sale @ Jurong after that... But the productivity of TTS hospital was so dawdling, it was 5pm when I finished dinner. I hate to have to squeeze in with the weekend crowd tomorrow but, I still have $60 credit in my Creative card so there's NO way I'm gonna waste 'em xD Hopefully, I'll be able to get a MP3 player or digicam.

It would be at least 5.30pm when I reach Jurong, ergo we changed destination to Orchard :D Mel treated me to Ajisen =d and Bread Papa. Speaking of Bread Papa, a stupid piece of bread crumb dropped into my shirt, and when I was, ahem, trying to get it out, aka poking my 2 fingers in to try to brush it off, a couple of guys working at the Toy fair @ Taka stared at the sight with wide-opened eyes. Lmao~ I still have some charm, fortunately. =P

Went to my monthly Hollywood Secrets trip to trim my eyebrows... Nicer this time xD gweehehe(lmao). Wanted to buy a liquid foundation but there was so many choices, and with Mel yapping at my side, complaining that the cosmetics section is the worst part of the shopping, and also with the over-attentive salesgirls, I went home empty-handed. Sigh.

Anybody know of a good brand of liquid foundation? With a price range of erm... $30-$55? Recommendations please!


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

- Abraham Lincoln

Wee!

I think I'm turning more feminine! I bought my 1st women magazine - Cleo, a couple of days ago, and today I went to Guardian to buy some stuffs, and on knowing I needed $6 to reach a $40 purchase to get a copy of Her World free, I bought mascara. Wow!

I know some of the people who knows me thinks I'm pretty vain (well yea... The thing I care most about is prolly my hair - I admit, I constantly check my reflection for my hair condition, that's why some thinks I'm a vain-pot) but if they descry hard enough, my make-up is the usual - unprofessional application of 2 way cake (yes, I don't use liquid foundation anymore, too lazy :( *hangs her head in shame*), a dab of lipstick, and a lil eyeliner if I have the time. That's it for the past few years ever since I graduated from Tomboy to girl.

And the most shameful thing is, all my make-up are bought by my mother. That explains the mystery of my everlasting supply of Chanel 2-way cakes despite the manhandling and disregard for their fragility.

Reading the 2 magazines have started to pique some interest from me to spend my own money on cosmetics.

I'm indeed evolving! Yay me!



O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power
Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle, hour;
Who hast by waning grown, and therein show'st
Thy lovers withering as thy sweet self grow'st;
If Nature, sovereign mistress over wrack,
As thou goest onwards, still will pluck thee back,
She keeps thee to this purpose, that her skill
May time disgrace and wretched minutes kill.
Yet fear her, O thou minion of her pleasure!
She may detain, but not still keep, her treasure:
Her audit, though delay'd, answer'd must be,
And her quietus is to render thee.

- Sonnet 126, O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power, William Shakespeare

Argh...

I'm having chest pains/heartburn. I'd just woken up, and when I stood up from the bed to go to the bathroom, the pain was so acute I had to unclip my bra to relieve the tension and pain. What the f*ck is happening to my heart?

Too much cholesterol? Heart problems? This is wayyy scary. I told Mel about it yesterday and he said, "What now? How come you everyday also pain here pain there one?" Argh. He'll live to regret it if one day I die of sudden heart problems. It's really time for that full body check-up.

Don't even know why I'm awake at this hour, but then, I'd woke up at 10+pm yesterday, so it was actually good that I managed to fall asleep again.

I really hope it's just the food I've been eating. These heartburns never occurred to me for an entire day before. Moreover, I ate nasi goreng belachan yesterday, and Idk if belachan got prawn paste anot... Got anot?! I also couldn't resist a few, quite a few actually, sips of Tom Yam seafood soup... My left ear is tingly and itchy as I type. Hope nothing will happen to the wound (-0-).

Sigh, since I'm up, I guess I should get some reading done and busy myself. Take care all.



So wise so young, they say do never live long

- King Richard III (III, i, 79), William Shakespeare

B-o-r-i-n-g

Finally decided to read the X.X/Princess's blog. Saw my friend, Leo's entry about her a couple of months ago. I thought she was just someone from a forum, didn't bother checking her blog out.

Saw her article in a chinese newspaper a couple of months ago, still wasn't interested enough to read.

Alas, boredom got me tonight and I went to check it out. Frankly, nothing captivating about her blog. In fact, I'm flabbergasted how she gained fame thru it. 6 out of 10 girls' blogs nowadays are bitchy anyway. I don't consider myself a whining bitch, even tho I do "kaopeh" sometimes. Lmao.

Putting her so-called "acting" as a bitch aside, she tried to show that she has an intellectual side. True, 269 points for PSLE is much higher than what I got, but with cramp-packed TV programmes everyday, what did you expect? =P I was a walking TV time schedule.

Still, I was still a talented student in the eyes of my teachers, if not a wilful one. I just don't think it computes with actual ingenuity. But I guess that's part of her objective. *gives a sardonic laugh*

Okay, enough on that, don't wanna end up giving her more publicity.

Anyway, I kinda feel like going to take the mensa test at NTU/NUS. After taking a few sample ones off the Net, I got an average of 22-25 out of 30 in about 20mins each. Don't think the score's good enough for me to splurge my money on a cert =\ Don't wanna come back a laughing-stock =_=

I'm on the job hunt again. I still have a couple of subsequent check-ups, but I think I'm good to go. Anybody knows if Admin Assistants are required at their companies? 2 months of experience at LTA, nothing much, but I'd learnt enough. RECRUIT MEH!!! Lol =_="

I only need office-based jobs thanks, because if it were to be sales-orientated, I can find one right in the vicinity of my block.

Bush rejects Karzai army demand

President George W Bush has ruled out handing over command of US troops in Afghanistan to the government there.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai said he would demand the move during talks with Mr Bush at the White House.

It follows anger over fresh details of torture and the deaths of two Afghan citizens at the main US military base in the country. - BBC

Bullshit about the praises exchanged; the tension's so thick you could stick a butter knife in it and watch it suspend in mid-air. WAR! WE WANT WAR!!! =X Well seriously, I really wish to see what'll happen if something ignites the sparkle =O

Woot 4.30am... Sigh. I really need to get a life. Not the working life, but a social life. I no longer have friends that I'm close enough to even go out and slack/have fun together. Dying a friendless old woman is a very distressing idea. Not to mention P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. I haven't go out with any of my friends within the past 1 year+, and it feels weird if I suddenly call them up and say, "wassup dog? Wanna go out?"

My life is undoubtly fixed. I'll never have a true girl-friend because I'm too much of a man at heart; I can't make myself go for all those girly things no matter how hard I try. I'll be welcomed in a guys circle but never one of them; because I still a girl. Sigh.

In short, I'm just an indolent piece of mothball lmao. Call me out if you don't mind catching up with your over-weight old friend, 'kay? =) Just add me at

jenxger@hotmail.com if you don't have my number.




It is not to be thought of that the flood

Of British freedom, which, to the open sea

Of the world's praise, from dark antiquity

Hath flowed, 'with pomp of waters, unwithstood,'

Roused though it be full often to a mood

Which spurns the check of salutary bands,

That this most famous Stream in bogs and sands

Should perish; and to evil and to good

Be lost for ever. In our halls is hung

Armoury of the invincible knights of old:

We must be free or die, who speak the tongue

That Shakespeare spoke: the faith and morals hold

Which Milton held. - In everything we are sprung

Of Earth's first blood, have titles manifold.

- We Must Be Free or Die, William Wordsworth

Sesquipedalophobia

Sesquipedalophobia means the fear of long words.

"Doctor, I think I fear long words. I shiver in the sight of them."

Doctor: "Oh? Then you must have sesquipedalophobia."

"Sesquip what? AHHHHHHH!!"

Okay, lame joke. Anyway, after days of playing trivia on IRC that includes a long list of phobias, I realised that there's likely a phobia for everything under the sun. Fear of England or English culture, Fear of wind, fear of mind, fear of urinating, Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth(that's Arachibutyrophobia for you!), fear of returning home, fear of philosophy, fear of EVERYTHING! And that's Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything! Seriously! How pathetic, if not pitiable, can a human's mind get, fearing all sorts of rubbish?

Yea, I bet there's even a phobia on fear of rubbish!

I bet I have fear of writer's block too. And fear of multi-tasking. 'Am concentrating on trivia and blogging, and maybe a sneak of the fanfic I'm reading, lol.

Or taken from www.phobialist.com, I very likely have -

Achluophobia/Lygophobia- Fear of darkness. (a lil) Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself. Batrachophobia- Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc. Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns. Entomophobia- Fear of insects (MAJOR!). Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms. Hypsiphobia- Fear of height. Isolophobia- Fear of solitude, being alone. Social Phobia- Fear of being evaluate negatively in social situations. Tomophobia- Fear of surgical operations.

And the list goes on and on and on~

But I don't think I'll ever have this - Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money. Who would?! I'll very much like to meet that person and take his fear away from him. Literally. Lmao ^^"

Sorry, was being a lil frivolous there, I do have a propensity to veer off topic, but it is true, and it's abstruse to me that human minds shall be so vulnerable.

Sigh. Going thru the drudgery of daily life, such facts only make it more distressing for me. Now I kinda understand why life is short.

The wild winds weep,
And the night is a-cold;
Come hither, Sleep,
And my griefs enfold! . . .
But lo! the morning peeps
Over the eastern steeps,
And the rustling beds of dawn
The earth do scorn.

Lo! to the vault
Of pavèd heaven,
With sorrow fraught,
My notes are driven:
They strike the ear of Night,
Make weak the eyes of Day;
They make mad the roaring winds,
And with the tempests play,

Like a fiend in a cloud,
With howling woe
After night I do crowd
And with night will go;
I turn my back to the east
From whence comforts have increased;
For light doth seize my brain
With frantic pain.

- William Blake

=d~

Mmm~~~ Guess what I'm eating right now? Suckling pig! Yum yum!! xD~ Bought from SICC, it's delicious *Ahh~*

Anyway, just woke up like 2hours+ ago. Don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep now.

Oh ya! Yesterday night, I dreamt that I signed up for a performance competition or something, and the judges said my dancing was sexy and I was hot! LMAO! Funneh dream :D


Went to TTS in the morning to remove the bandage, and the doctor put a band-aid on it and asked me to go again next Friday. Which got me thinking - Am I supposed to stick with the 1 band-aid for the rest of the entire week? >_> Sigh.

BTW, even the removal of the bandage hurt like hell. The wound had started to heal over even tho I'd bled alot last night, but when the doctor removed the bandage and cotton pad, it tore open again x( *bawls*

So kids, think again the next time you decide to pierce more than 1 hole per ear =P



Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.

-MacBeth, William Shakespeare

Bandaged head trauma victim! Lol...



And... A smaller picture to not gross you guys out, the "keloid" and my pinkie finger to compare sizes... =P Eew much? =X

OUCH...

Heya, I'm back from the dreaded operation. My head is wrapped in a turban thingy (those bandages they do that makes you look like a head trauma victim) and my left ear hurts like hell.

Truth to be told, I totally panicked in the operating theatre. As I laid on the chair, it all reminds me too vividly of my primary school dental visits and when they started easing me into the operation and putting the green cloth over my face, I had a panic attack. I practically sobbed thru-out the 30mins ordeal. Weak Jen, BAD~

I'd grabbed the comforter on me 'till my knuckles went white, and when the doctor injected the anesthetic into my ear, I whined. =_= The following poking around hurt a lil, but before I knew it, he'd started cutting at my ear and I didn't feel a thing.

The whole process thereafter was rather okay, but I can hear the knife cutting at my keloid (or however it's spelt) and the squishiness was totally gross. 15mins later, I heard the ending soft"phlat" of the removal and I knew it was over. They let me take home the keloid as a victory token. Totally awesome. Lol.

I actually look quite cool in the bandage. It's like wearing a less fanciful headband but it's a lil too tight for comfort. I still have to go back to TTS tomorrow for a followup, so I guess the bandage goes off then. Don't have a digicam or camera phone with me ATM, so too bad! It would have been nice to take a photo of remembrance. Oh well~

Once I get hold of one tho, I'll prolly take a photo of the scar tissue bit and upload it here. It looks a lil like a miniature kidney-shaped piece of flesh, so it really isn't that gross. I took a poke at it, and it felt like those raw frozen meat in supermarkets. LOL!

Oh no... Wait. Sudden realisation just hit me. I think I have to take another injection tomorrow, the one they said I have to take monthly to help prevent scar tissue from growing out again. OMFG NOOO!!! It hurts like HELLLL! >_> Shiver me timbles!

Hmm, time to rest now I guess. I know they gave me pretty strong paracetamol, but it doesn't help much to ease the pain. 30mins max, and then the pain returns again.

AH! Got myself a camera now. Gonna take some photos and upload it in a while's time. Wee!

So darn tired...

*Stifles a yawn* Sigh. 7 more hours to the dreaded operation. I really should be sleeping now, but I'd decided a couple of hours ago to stay up, so I can wake him up at 4.30am for his last-minute books cramming session. Yea, he has his final exam at 8am later.

I'm SOOO regretting the decision now. My back and bum aches like hell from all the sitting, and I could sleep for 24hours straight. Idk if it'll be wise to sleep now.

Anyway, could you believe Lee Hsien Loong agrees that Japan deserves a seat in the UN council? Gimme a break! I didn't think much about the "PLP" incident between Taiwan, China and Singapore, but, hello, Japan doesn't deserve a seat in the UN. At least not until they're willing to apologise to the world and do something about it.

I'm so bloody disgusted with the government. Not that I'd liked it much before.

So anyway, *sips her root beer* I hate my current situation. Anyone learning massaging, and needs a volunteer? ^^"


To (be)sleep, or not to (be)sleep, that's the question...

-Hamlet, William Shakespeare

Star Wars g33k ?

=O Just got back from watching Star Wars with Mel. I've only watched 1/2 of Episode 6: Return of the Jedi prior to this movie. Haha. Padme Amidala r0x! I've liked her, and maybe Obiwan Kenobi too, when I saw her in the commercials for Episode 2.



The costume and make-up is AWESOME. I will look like a Chinese vampire if I were to do cosplay =P

Not entirely consumed as a Star Wars geek tho. Check this out to get what I mean. It's not a virus site, don't worry, just something I always get a good laugh out of, even when I'd watch it dozens of times. xD

I might start buying the Star Wars VCDs to watch. No guarantees tho. But I'm certainly not sinking to the level of reading the books. Too bloody thick! Lol~

Alright, time to go do my stuffs. Toodles!

And for the mood of this entry, here's a quote from Star Wars instead of poems and Shakespearean quotes.


"Do. Or do not. There is no try."

- Yoda

Well.. Sorry

The apology stated in the title is for the approximate 100+ f word repeated in my previous entry.

Just wanted to let off some steam, since there was nothing in front of me then that was smashable, or at least not having to account for. Well yea, I have a bloody bad temper, but what's new? ^^"

Thinking about it, it was Friday the 13th yesterday, maybe she thought it was all fun and nice to piss my royal ass off.

Never mind, never mind. *takes a deep breath and counts to 10* Moving on, I feel so weird nowadays. There's no doubt I hated work at LTA. Didn't need or mind an auntie who spent 20+ years in LTA earning a salary some people who might be able to get within the first couple o' years, but minded how she had totally no basic human respect for me whatsoever, when I gave her all due respect. Bothers me to even think about what she said.

Still, when being laid back and slacking was the way to go in my life before, it all feels... wrong. It is wrong, but it never felt weird till now, yea? Guess I'm really growing up. Getting old. Brr.

No, I haven't went all change-y and turned into a whole new person. Still basically how my friends remembered me. I'm still feeling lazy and lethargic about having to scout for a job soon, but not all together scared at the concept, if you get what I mean.

Oh, here's something I snatched over from my friend's blog, aka Leo.

"A University of Birmingham team found that drugs such as Ecstasy, weight-loss pills, and anti-depressants like Prozac have the potential to stop cancer cell growth. The team found that the drugs were effective at blocking cancer growth in more than half of lymphoma (white blood cell cancer) samples tested. The study could lead to new cancer therapies.Cancer growth was slowed down in 9 out of the 17 samples when they were exposed to anti-depressants, and in 11 out of 17 when exposed to one or both of the amphetamine derivatives. The research was supported by the Leukaemia Research Fund.

Well.. what are you doing , sitting there reading this? GO OUT AND GET HIGH!"

Lmao. My sentiments exactly.

Right now I'm busying myself reading at least 10,000 words daily, whether off the Net or from my books. 'Am reading Crippen - A Novel of Murder by John Boyne at the moment, and 6 other books in my possession, waiting... Calling out for me lol. I can stay up till 5am in the morning just to read. It was my Mum's doing that I didn't read much when I was younger; she felt that reading anything else other than school books were wrong. Now I'm like, making up for lost time? Lmao~

I'll feel all tingling and weird if I don't read everyday. I've been bringing along a book wherever I go nowadays, whether for meals outside, shopping, KTV sessions or clubbing sessions with friends, you name it. A friend, Steven, friend of Vincent's mostly, haven't seen me without a book for all the times we have went out together.

Escapist, much? Maybe that's what I really am. Getting indulged in my own private world or fantasy and dull out what's there in reality.

You guys, specifically the people who haven't seen me in a while, prolly think I'm bluffing. Comic books, more likely. But nah. Always liked reading. Just didn't like reading back in Sec. Sch days for the sake of writing up book reports lol.

Subtlely speaking, in case you're wondering, no, I leave all the 'fanciful' English to my writings, and not blogging or normal conversations. I am also not prepared to share my self-written fiction out yet, since I'd barely cracked at it, being busy recently and all. Might put it up on the Net somewhere in the next half of the year. Just don't expect much; =P I go more for content. Might be rather good in languages but not an elitist.

So anywayy, life's still good for me now, letting me read all I want, while waiting for the day op. on 20th. Still kinda worried tho... What if I freakin' feel the pain?! I was considering complete anesthesia, aka blacking out, but I hesitated at the cost and feeling nauseous part. Oh well. Wish me luck! Or wish me well, whatever *nonchalant shrug*

Alright, back to my reading now. Ta~

P.S: Oh yea, dig my latest thing for poems or Shakespearean quotes. A poem/quote per entry. Enjoy!

"And I am sometimes proud and sometimes meek,

And sometimes I remember days of old

When fellowship seem'd not so far to seek,

And all the world and I seem'd much less cold,

And at the rainbow's foot lay surely gold,

And hope felt strong, and life itself not weak."

-Christina Rossetti

Fucking bitch

I'm so fucking pissed now I don't care about the strong language I'm using. That fucking bitch who's prolly sashaying her way around in my house right now, thinking it's HERS. No fucking way in hell will it end up in her hands. I'll smash my fist in her face if I need to prove that point.

That bitch had been living off my family for about 8 years, god damn fucking knows how much she'd already taken and used for herself and her family. The house she built back in a sodding village in China was built with my brother's money. And where did the fucking money comes from? My mother.

You'd fucking pinched money from my mum's stall thinking it was okay, and burning up the utility expenses like there's no tomorrow and leaving it to my mum to settle. Now my bro and you had taken over the business for barely 6 months and you think YOU are suffering? My mother toiled for 20 fucking years and provided for my brother for 30 fucking years. Yes, my brother, the fucking whipped husband you have and turned against my mother.

Fuck off and die bitch. Never taken allowance from you and never needed to. You'd been eyeing my mother's business years ago, didn't you? Think I was that dumb and ignorant not to notice? Now you have it for barely 6 months and you can't hold it? Dumb bint. It just proves that you're INCAPABLE.

I will never fucking regret saying this: I hope you fucking trip and fall one day and lose the fucking baby. Xin Yi is enough and we don't need you to fucking carry on our family line. You're only TAINTING it fucking bitch.

I wish I could just smash my fist into your fucking irritating face and make you realise nobody cares a hoot about you aside my blind, whipped brother. I wish you'll just crumble up one day and die a wicked, slow death. I will stand there and laugh at your corpse. Nobody bosses my mum around like that and expects to be let off with it. She fucking deserves respect for what she'd been thru for the past 30 years. I'll see to it that you suffer your damn retribution one day.

Best Blogs in Asia site. LOL!

Bored now.

Well then. Here's my newest pic. The colour's not so obvious 'cos it's not taken on the day itself. I'm gonna wash my hair tomorrow and maybe I'll upload another pic of the not so red but rather orangy hair then. Lol.



Anyway, as I was on the cab today, I heard the DJs talking about the Japanese people and their mindset. I've read about their constant lies to their countrymen about the sins and cruel acts in WWII, but as of well, I never really gave a thought to it.

True, I feel that things should just be left behind, since it happened 60 years ago, and most of those who survived then, aren't around anymore. Still, there isn't a need to cover up the entire history! Brief mentions of the war in their textbooks doesn't help either. I know they have been cruel, massacring innocent people all over Asia, but did you know they raped some Chinese girls and then cut off their breasts, to let them bleed to their deaths? Or poking a bamboo stick thru their private parts?

What's up with their "superiority" complex? It is said that the Japanese can be very polite and friendly, but if you, a non-Japanese, intend to join their inner circle and become close friends to them, they'll completely shut you out.

I admire their sense of loyalty to their country, a tight pack, that's what they are, but I don't understand why they are not willing to face up to their past mistakes like Germany did. Bloody hell, Germany has been apologising to the world till now, for a mistake that stupid Nazi Hitler did. So, Japan thinks they can join the United Nations? Not a sodding chance.

I don't know, I just don't really like non-democratic countries. True, some democratic countries aren't as "holy" as they seem; always having some backhanded moves, but I can't really accept countries like the UK, Japan, and China. They ALL have a superiority complex. Brr. Not that I dislike the English. They're great; I speak the sodding Queen's English. Just... reading about what they did in India in the 19th century was kinda, inhuman.

Okay, enough ranting. It's not like me to talk about such political issues anyway. I do have an interest in history... Reading alot basically leads to learning about history. But anywayyy -

Right, well, there's something I needta say. I'm not working at LTA anymore. I felt terrible about it at first, not sure if I'm confident enough to tell everyone in my blog, but after some thinking-thru, (and a long speech from Mel) I decided to not feel so bad about myself. It's my first step back into the working society, and even tho it didn't fare well, I'm willing to give another try, to move on another step. A few steps more even, if Fate wants it that way.

Even tho I'm not working there anymore, I had to go over to get my ex-manager to sign my timesheet for me. I had a feeling at least one of them will throw some sarcasm my way, but heck, I was prepared for it ^^.

Well, most of them were very nice to me. Kala and Mariam were still smiling at me sincerely as usual, and even a couple other colleagues were pretty nice too. Only that Henry.. Lol. He asked me what I'm gonna do from now on.

"Marry?" He asked. Yea right. "I'm only 20, still young, I have other things in my life." I felt comfortable with that comeback =P I still have years and years ahead of me and I'm not worried about my future. At least my life isn't scheduled to fail from now on. I know I can still fix it, and even tho I have very low self-confidence in myself all along, I'll have to give my very best. ^_^"

Optimistic, aye? I hope it last, lmao. As how most friends know me, I'm rather pessimistic most of the time, but I always put on a brave front and a smiley face for all my loved friends. No need to make them share my burdens.

Right, then. Back to fixing my new picture album over at Friendster , and reading somemore books. Sigh~

And She Shall Look On Him With Forgiveness, And Everybody Shall Forgive And Love. He Will Be Loved.

Woot Woot!

This was taken during March, and I've had it on my MSN since then, so it's nothing new. Just thought I should upload it here.

Anyway, I've finally colored my hair! After months of procastinating, I grabbed my lazy ass over to Jantzen @ West Mall earlier on, and got myself a head of red, but kinda dull, hair :(

The process was okay, service was good and I felt pretty comfortable, but the end result was slightly darker than the colour I had initially chosen. I sooo liked the orangy red I had last year, but Mel commented that my current colour makes me look more lady-like, rather than the old one which made me look like an ah lian -_- whateva.

Not that I could choose a much brighter colour; my manager will prolly bite my head off.

Nope, don't have photos of my new hair color to share yet, I'm still getting acquainted to it lol. Will try to get one soon. I wanted to go over to town to shop and take some lovegetys, but it was like 7pm, and getting there would take about 1/2 an hour or so, and after some self-debating I decided to go over another day.

Oh ya, that reminds me. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all my married friends! ^^"

I kinda regret not taking some photos today tho :( I don't go to much expenses to take care of my outlooks, so basically today, after all the hair treatment and hair-blowing, I actually felt pretty, which I hadn't felt in a while. My hair will prolly go messy and all again, after a night's tossing about in bed. Sigh.

Anyway, I'm going for a day op. on the 20th for my ear problem. The top of my left ear has that, um, scar tissue thingy that kinda grew out of my ear piercing since I was sec 4. It was small at first, but it continued growing until it's almost the size of my pinky finger's tip now. It's really just like a round protruding flesh. Kinda gross huh.

I'm still very indecisive about the operation, because it's like, only a local anesthesia (or however you spell it), so I have to sit/lie there and watch them handle knifes around me and cutting at my ear. GROSS.

It's either that operation, or letting the scar tissue grow =\. Not that the operation will ensure the growth to cease, as, well, basically, the wound will be sewn up after the operation, and naturally, scar tissues will grow, and there's no guarantee the scar tissue won't start to grow out again. Therefore I'll need to go back to TTS Hospital every month for an injection.

Argh, all for the sake of beauty!

Dreams

Dreams... Yea I feel like talking about dreams tonight. No, not the ambitions type of dreams, but literal dreams you make at nights.

I've always like dreaming; not that I put in alot of hours every night for that, but I really do. Sometimes I get to remember the dreams, and thinking about them makes me smile.

Yea, they're pretty distorted, changing scenes as we moved into different rooms, but it always sets me thinking if there is actually any meaning to the dreams I make.

I had a dream last night, and it had moons in it, again. It's not those blurry crescent/full moons, but bigger, and you can see the shaded part of the moon, and all the craters on it.

Something like this one =)

Anyway, it DID have James Marsters too, but that's not the point. (lol) I've dreamed about moons (yes, moons) and yesterday night, I dreamt that there were 5 moons in the sky. I like the night sky, yea, but I don't put much time in to watch them. I don't know why, but whenever I dreamt of night skies and moons, the dream always get kinda creepy.

I can still vividly remember going to the depths of the ocean (which was surprisingly litted) and I saw, ahem, James Marsters sitting there, talking to me lol. We chatted casually, what we talked about I'd forgot, but I remember the urge to make him like me. SOOO, moving on, I then moved into a building beside him in the sea, and it became a library. I returned the 3 books I've read, and borrowed 3 new ones, which were all BTVS, and had Spike on them.

I then moved right, up the stairs, and I was in some sort of haunted place. I had the sinking feeling that we were not alone (I had 2 girls beside me whom from my dreams, I felt were my sisters) and we were on the edge of panicking, when I found the way to get out, when something came out to spook me. I couldn't remember what it was.

The next scene was then, the night sky. My sight was filled with the stars and moons, and when I arched my head further up, I saw the sun. It was a diamond shape yellow colour thing, more like a huge star, but like I said, in my dreams, it was the sun. I stared at the moons again and I remember calling Mel and said, "Dear, look at the sky, there's 5 moons." and hung up.

That's pretty much all I remember about my latest dream, so here's the old one which was even more vivid. You know why? I was telling him about the dreams about moons, and I paused and asked, "There was once, that 2 moons was spotted in the sky right?"

Like, what the hell lmao. I can still remember that dream where I was standing at my balcony, seeing my white window grills and everything, and the 2 huge moons behind it. One on my left, one on my right. I also dreamt about one ENORMOUS moon before, don't know if it's an individual one anot, but in that dream, there was chaos. Everything was distorted; people were travelling between HDB blocks in the air, cycling or fly-walking etc etc. Some people were flustered, some people treated it as normal, and I sorta go with the flow.

I know that in one of these 2 dreams, I dreamt again of being in a japanese-like(it just felt, japanese, I don't know why lol) environment, and a bunch of people including me looked up at the sky, and saw many moons, about 8.

Then there was also this dream I had last month, that I was Buffy and Spike left me because I ignored him too much, and I called Giles in England and he told me he was back in Singapore, and I managed to get him back to my side... After that I was involved in some pwn ass fighting action with a bunch of cult guys after me, and I kicked some serious ass. Lol. Nevermind.

Haha, all these weird dreams got me remembering about the ULTIMATE weirdest one. This one beats the dream where I dreamt of my ex bf dead in a homicide scene, my nanny cutting off her fingers, and a dinosaur chasing me to a block across the road till I plung to my death from the roof.

I dreamt that I was the most important "general" in a war in Singapore. General of the REBEL forces.

Frankly, I don't remember much about the dream. But everytime I think about it, it gave me a sense of power lol. It was either a war to take over Singapore, or to take over a very large facility.

We were brutal, killing those who defied us, and making sure they listen to our commands. The leader, someone I felt I'd pledged my loyalty and was indebted to, wasn't Singaporean, but quite a number of us were. I was the leader of the Singaporeans.

There was no qualms about shoving a gun into people's faces and beating them up, but then I realised some of my good friends were one of the hostages. I was put in a dilemma, but I then decided to get them out of our stronghold, to ensure their safety. I did all the climbing around, on those bamboos surrounding a construction site, and acting that I want them to help me take the rations from a convenience store in the facility, etc. In the dream, I knew that I wasn't switching sides; I merely wanted to rescue them, and get back to my leader. I escaped my leader's suspicions a couple of times, but I was ultimately exposed and I remember that as I got my friends out of the facility, I was shot. I don't know if I died, because the dream ended then.

Muahaha~ Long entry tonight. For those of you who actually read throughout, I think you would agree with me that they were interesting ^^".

Bah, I'll stop for now, the menstrual pains are getting to me. LOL. Ta~

Quitter strikes!

Actually, I don't know what to put as my title, so I just took an idea from that "anonymous" person in my tagboard. I still have a clue who she is, and even if not, who cares? The person obviously doesn't know much about me xD Just takes bits and pieces of my entry to piece up my characteristics. Quitter strikes again? *Tsk* what a weak try of grasping for grass =X

So anyway, LONG WEEKEND!!! WOOHOO!! Haveta work till 1.30pm yesterday because of all those "kiasu" people who want to get their cars asap since Monday is a holiday. I almost fainted of hunger!

Also, I saw Azahar at work on Friday!!! He's my NPCC squadmate from Sec. Sch, and I've always liked him because he's DAMN funny lol and a very good friend to rely on. We saw each other in the lift and chatted a bit before he alighted to go pay for his "summon" lol. He hadn't change much, his voice is still the same, build's a lil bigger, hair's longer, but still very recognisable. Whereas me? Sigh. I bet I'm the only one in our old circle of friends to have changed for the worst =P All my friends have became more manly for the men and more feminine for the women. Aww~ I'm really happy to see them, even if it was thru friendster =P

Oh ya! Speaking of friendster, I login just now and saw that another of my old friend, Baby, is married!!! Aww!!! I knew her thru Carina back in the days when we still went to Sparks every Friday, of which I knew Carina thru Leo. The girls (Carina, Jinting, Baby and Wanxia) are great gals to hang out with, but we've pretty much lost contact since we club at different places since then.

Her wedding photos are sooooo beautiful. She's so beautiful! It's sweet too, to see that she'd married the guy whom I know was her bf since the day I know her, to see young couples happily in marriage (E.G: Chantelle, XiaoBaiTu, Baby). Chantelle's my age, XBT is 1-2years older, and Baby's 1 year younger. Yet they all are blissfully in love and happiness with their hubbies. Isn't that so sweet? In fact, most of my old friends are all blissfully in love. Is this the love year?

That kinda makes me look forward to having a baby of my own. Not a shotgun 1 that is (No offense girls!! >_<) Just that I would want to be more prepared to awaits her/his arrival =P All the while, I've wanted to have a baby when I get late 20's... But now, early 20's seems good too! Lmao! But I'll need someone willing to feed me and mah baby, that is =P

Went out with Mel to celebrate his 20th bday yesterday xD Yum yum, Crystal jade! We ate till SOO full we barely made it to East Coast Park to countdown. I slept in the car and he slept while we were at ECP. We left 1min after 12mn. Lame right?! Lol~ Well ok, time to go slack around and enjoy my long weekend while it lasts xD Happy day today, hurray!