Sunday, August 24, 2008

爱得太深, 容易醉。 恨太久,心容易碎。 坚强得太久好疲惫。。。


对不会喜欢我的男人有感觉,似乎变成我的专利了。


我像是一只小鸟,为了爱拼了命义无反顾的追,累了就在风里睡觉,在风里流泪,即使疲惫也不会停的往前飞。


但我真的好累了。。。有时候想大哭一场把心情宣泄,也似乎无力,只好在心里独自流泪。


I hate it how I automatically encourage my crushes to go for the girls they'll like, just because I know I'll never have a shot.

Guess subconsciously I feel that the faster he gets attached, the earlier I'll feel obliged to murder my feelings. I have no idea why I always crush on the kind of guys who'll never look at me as more than a friend.

Maybe I ought to be mulling over how to make guys not treat me as a buddy... And think about how to make myself appear more attractive.

Guess it starts from losing weight :) WATCH OUT WORLD!


其实还蛮喜欢这单身自由的简单,快乐,但现在我眼前的路一片迷茫。。。 我到底该往哪儿走?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Winding down Sunday.

Decided to wake up at noon today so I can get some idle slacking time, and boy it was a good time spent.

Spent the better part of the day watching Initial D episodes and other movies, and spent my last 2 hours googling two sexy HUNKALICIOUS MAMMAMIAS! Thus I present to you,

Kevin Zegers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


and Jared Leto~~~~~~~~~

I know, they look eeriely similar; Guess they're one of my to-drool-over types. :D~


BUT. It broke my lil ol' heart when I came across these pictures...


Sigh.


Should I be flattered or frustrated that Paris Hilton had/has the same taste as I do? =_=.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Extension of probation till September 14, 2008

"Dear Jennifer,

This is to inform you that your probation period is extended to September 14, 2008.

We trust you will put in your utmost efforts to improve and develop the areas of converns as highlighted by your immediate supervisor and further strengthen the team in your best capacity during this extended period.


Yours sincerely,
For and on behalf of
xxx "


Sigh. For the first time ever in my life, my capability has been casted in doubt. I almost felt insulted if not for the fact that I saw it coming.

My manager informed me that they do want me on the team and to stay in the company, but they are extending my probation by a month as a formality and they believe that I'll be able to work on and improve the issues that were highlighted to me.

I've met some really good colleagues here; our lunchs and dinners filled with practically inexhaustible gossip on our you-know-who, and I'm not directly in the crossfire shall any office politics arise('cos hey, just a lil office girl here), but it sucks that you get shit for your executive's incompetence.

Passing on information to me that is practically impossible for me to verify its accuracy, yet blaming me for the aftermath. Chuckling away her obvious overlooks and whining out loud infront of our manager at my mistakes.

I have one seriously emo executive that I have no idea how to handle. Just when I thought I've seen it all...

Should I go back into my old line; Customer service? I'm being paid really well despite my qualifications and little-to-none experience in this field, but being in the operations side, I can't foresee my next course of 'elevation' unless its a few years down the road and my exec so happens to resign. Being back in my old line would it would at least give me a sense of satisfaction that my current job will never endow, and a chance to move up the corporate ladder.

Decisions, decisions...


Update on 08/09/08: Huh. So my exec DID resign. They're even freezing the headcount at the moment, so I do have every chance to be promoted given time, but its too soon... I'm not even sure of my confirmation, or even if I'm staying. Argh.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The BSOD.

Yes, I've gotten the Blue Screen of Death on my dear ol' laptop.

It's one of the dreaded IRQL not equal or less errors, after the months of not clearing out my harddisk space, I think. It has finally made my harddisk kick the bucket. Not a newly installed driver issue; The last time I installed something on my machine was last month, and it was working fine till yesterday.

I'll be detached from civilisation for a couple of months before I can even think to afford a new laptop... Right now I'm worried if I can even afford to attempt the rescue mission on my burnt out harddisk to which the derived solution is to get an external harddisk drive and get some tech shop to backup my harddisk for me.

I so hate my life now.

ARGH.


Update:

Thanks to Bernard who offered to loan me his laptop until I can replace
mine. We've only chatted yesterday and you're willing to meet me tomorrow
for it. You're a lifesaver!

Friday, August 08, 2008

08/08/08, the end of my tethers...

A/N: Have a great National Day tomorrow guys. Happy birthday. :)


Hey, I just haveta blog on this day, aye? I don't think I'll be still blogging 10 years down the road, and the numbers won't be as swee anyway...

So. Nothing much has been up recently. I'm progressing into my 3rd month at State Street, but I've yet to hear about my confirmation. Well, it would definitely be sad if I go; I've made some good friends here, but I'm not about to worry about it incessantly. If it comes, it comes. If it doesn't, this isn't the end of the road for me.


The best words to describe my recent emotions would be...... Actually, I can't find the right words.

Let's just say I'm in a state of unfeeling... Almost indurate. Like, jaded with a tinge of lethargy, only on a lighter scale?


It's not exactly a good thing, nor can I say its bad. This numbness wraps me in its warm cocoon, makes me feel all safe-like. I don't even react that strongly to upsetting news anymore. Rod got married? Fine, I cried for an hour and I got over it. At least I'm not easily slipping back into my depression as I used to, right? So it's all good, right? :)



I think I'm finally reaching the end of my tethers...