My 20th birthday is coming in 1 week's time... And here I thought there's still 2 weeks to go. Lol.
When did my birthdays get so forgettable as years passed? I used to plan them in advance at least 1 month before. Now I don't even know what I intend to do next week.
Help me with the decisions, please?
1) BBQ on the 1st of Oct at Mel's place. That'll be my nieces if they can make it, Mel's friends and my own friends. But abit squeezy, leh... There'll be at least 6 of Mel's friends, at least 5 of my own friends, my 2 nieces, Mel's cousin whom I'll have to ask along, plus Mel and I = 16 minimum.
They do have a function room for me to book tho... Hmm.
2) Don't celebrate with Mel's friends. Go out on Sat/Sun with Mel to celebrate, and I celebrate on the day itself, which is Monday, with my own friends, prolly just a dinner, or whatever my god-bro can come up with.
3) BBQ at Mel's house on Sat but without my friends and nieces. Just the usual "hiadi" bunch; Zhi Zhong, Vincent, Bong, Louis etc... And KTV on Monday with my own friends.
4) KTV instead of BBQ on Sat(just like how I celebrated last year), dinner with friends on Monday.
5) Chinablack / Liquid Room / Music Underground on Sat with the usual bunch, but not gonna buy liquor, lah. No money! KTV/dinner on Monday.
Toughie :( It's not like I'll get any presents or ang baos from Mel's side, and even tho I'll get quite a bit of money from my own side, I doubt I want to spend them all. F.i.g.u.r.i.n.e.s.!
Moreover, I paid $200+ for the KTV celebration last year. Not something I would like to relive this year, paying for a whole group of friends when I planned KTV for low spending. At least I won't have to pay for Elaine and the others we've lost contact with this year.
Decisions, decisions... Since when did my birthday celebrations become so le chey instead of happy?
Sigh.
Look at this:
¤ Gawd... I didn't even notice that my Bday's coming in 1 week... How should I celebrate? =\ [www.jenxger.blogspot.com] ¤ says:
=.=
'Clarence; god bless those involved in Ms Hurricane Rita. says:
How you celebrating? Making babies with melvin ahs? Hahas
That made me realise I'd lost my identity, ever since getting into a relationship with Melvin.
I'm always Melvin's gf, or *****'s friend, blah blah. When was the last time people said "Wah, JenxGeR leh!" "Hey, Jennifer's here!" "Yo, Jen!", like I'm a integer part of the gang? "Gang" as in not being the only girl or whatever, but being accepted like a brother.
I used to be in the limelight with my friends. Now I don't know what I am anymore. My reliance on him for support and solace made me lost my independence and self-confidence... My god-bro thought so too.
He advised me to take some time to go travelling, or take a step and go overseas to study using the savings account I had since young. Just take a chance, and know my direction.
I agree that I need to know my direction... Where and what I should move towards, and get to know myself again. Get to be the Jennifer that her friends loved.
But what if I fail? All those who had been laughing at me... Even tho they want me to buck up, they've been looking down on me all the way... My family... Friends... Melvin... His family.
For 20 years, I lived my life the way my mother wanted me to. Good scores, top class, etc etc. She always penalised me for whatever small mistakes I made along the way, and when I fell 3 years ago; when I fell for the first time in 20 years, I was given a death penalty.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
Aye, what the hell.
Read on the newspaper like, yesterday or a couple of days ago, that the government is considering to ban smoking throughout the island in 10 years' time.
Said that with smokers as a minority, the government should not be facing much opposition regarding that idea.
PAH!
Load of bull. Their tabulations are just the "official smokers". I don't see how they will be able to get an accurate calculation of smokers in Singapore anyway.
I guess when I'm 30 and invite my friends and business associates from overseas, this sign will be imprinted in their minds:
No profitable cigarette taxes which they already are having fun imposing, lesser tourists willing to visit because they smoke like chimneys.
I guess Malaysia will be laughing in one corner and profiting on the mistake that the Singapore government was dumb enough to make.
We'll be visiting Malaysia on weekends to puff up on their cheap cigarettes, and have our meals and shopping expeditions in the mean time.
First they banned chewing gums, now they're thinking of banning cigarettes. What's next, banning tissues because people always throw them on the floor after use?
If our government really ban it in 10 years' time, then...
Singapore,
Oops, will I get fined? In this case, "Singapore" is actually the name of my friend, Ah Kou's dog. =)
Said that with smokers as a minority, the government should not be facing much opposition regarding that idea.
PAH!
Load of bull. Their tabulations are just the "official smokers". I don't see how they will be able to get an accurate calculation of smokers in Singapore anyway.
I guess when I'm 30 and invite my friends and business associates from overseas, this sign will be imprinted in their minds:
No profitable cigarette taxes which they already are having fun imposing, lesser tourists willing to visit because they smoke like chimneys.
I guess Malaysia will be laughing in one corner and profiting on the mistake that the Singapore government was dumb enough to make.
We'll be visiting Malaysia on weekends to puff up on their cheap cigarettes, and have our meals and shopping expeditions in the mean time.
First they banned chewing gums, now they're thinking of banning cigarettes. What's next, banning tissues because people always throw them on the floor after use?
If our government really ban it in 10 years' time, then...
Singapore,
Oops, will I get fined? In this case, "Singapore" is actually the name of my friend, Ah Kou's dog. =)
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
It feels like a bloody revelation...
I'd heard about what Mel's mum said to my mum last week, over the phone.
None pleasant, no respect for my mother when she spoke like that. Made me disrespect her all the bit more, but I guess I have her to thank for letting me have a bloody revelation.
No, wait, why the hell should I thank her? Ha. I rather thank my god-bro who rushed over right after hearing me cry over the phone, and the talk between my mum, him and I.
I'm gonna go for a morning run later or tomorrow morning, go scanning for a job in areas nearby, dye my hair with that dark copper red blond hairdye I bought a while back, and perm my hair somewhere next month.
A fresh start.
I know it's a ungodly hour to have such thoughts hit me, but damn, it feels good.
I've finally felt good about myself in what seems like years. A sodding light in my tunnel of darkness.
I'm no bloody saint; ain't gonna quit my smoking or drinking anytime soon, but DAMN,
I feel good!
Damn all those who discriminates me. Even if I deserve every criticism from your god-damned mouths, for being a fat, useless wastrel or whatsoever,
you can stick it back up yours.
I'm gonna do things how I like it, slow and easy. It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
I do what I want when I want.
To borrow and edit a quote from William Ernest Henley,
"I am the bloody master of my fate: I am the freaking captain of my soul."
Sod off.
None pleasant, no respect for my mother when she spoke like that. Made me disrespect her all the bit more, but I guess I have her to thank for letting me have a bloody revelation.
No, wait, why the hell should I thank her? Ha. I rather thank my god-bro who rushed over right after hearing me cry over the phone, and the talk between my mum, him and I.
I'm gonna go for a morning run later or tomorrow morning, go scanning for a job in areas nearby, dye my hair with that dark copper red blond hairdye I bought a while back, and perm my hair somewhere next month.
A fresh start.
I know it's a ungodly hour to have such thoughts hit me, but damn, it feels good.
I've finally felt good about myself in what seems like years. A sodding light in my tunnel of darkness.
I'm no bloody saint; ain't gonna quit my smoking or drinking anytime soon, but DAMN,
I feel good!
Damn all those who discriminates me. Even if I deserve every criticism from your god-damned mouths, for being a fat, useless wastrel or whatsoever,
you can stick it back up yours.
I'm gonna do things how I like it, slow and easy. It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
I do what I want when I want.
To borrow and edit a quote from William Ernest Henley,
"I am the bloody master of my fate: I am the freaking captain of my soul."
Sod off.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Ooh...
I had a really disturbing dream last night. It was actually a nightmare of sorts, but I slept through it soundly till I woke up naturally.
Um, it was sorta like scenes from a ghost movie - strange people, eerie surroundings and spine-tingling feelings.
I only remember bits and pieces of the dream, but I remembered that I dropped some of my stuff, one of them being my zippo, and I was about to enter a place that the someone who was after me, might be at.
When I entered and grabbed my stuff quickly, the items in my bag spilled because I was rushing off and did not zip up properly. As I bent down to pick up my bangles and keys, etc, I felt him behind me.
I took off and ran, shrugging out of my bag when he made a grab for me. I ran and ran, and when he finally caught up with me, we fought, and somehow a chopping knife(those you use to chop up vegetables, but slightly bigger) appeared in my hand and I pinned him to the ground soonafter.
Instinct told me that the only way to stop him is to go for the kill. His right hand caught mine and we struggled for the knife. My position on top gave me the advantage... And I slowly drew the knife through his heart, and carved it across a couple of times to make sure.
Eeriely like a scene from Saving Private Ryan, between the German and US soldiers. They ran out of bullets and struggled with a jungle knife... Did I mention how much that movie grossed me out? I watched that months ago though.
The knife went thru him like butter... But it still did not kill him.
I then brought the knife up towards his throat, and sliced him slowly through the right to the left. After decapitating him, I simply ran, and did not bother to check if he was truely dead.
Nope, I don't remember the face of the man. I wasn't really afraid of him; Like I said, the dream would have woken me up if I was terrified.
The mysterious man in the dream was more like someone who wished to cause me harm, and I wanted to avoid and escape him... But he was too insistent. So I had to do the deed.
Worst thing tho? I had a happy while carving his heart and looking at his face.
Prophecy? Hope not. Woke up with a weird feeling in my guts and I don't really wish to relive it again.
Brrrr.
Um, it was sorta like scenes from a ghost movie - strange people, eerie surroundings and spine-tingling feelings.
I only remember bits and pieces of the dream, but I remembered that I dropped some of my stuff, one of them being my zippo, and I was about to enter a place that the someone who was after me, might be at.
When I entered and grabbed my stuff quickly, the items in my bag spilled because I was rushing off and did not zip up properly. As I bent down to pick up my bangles and keys, etc, I felt him behind me.
I took off and ran, shrugging out of my bag when he made a grab for me. I ran and ran, and when he finally caught up with me, we fought, and somehow a chopping knife(those you use to chop up vegetables, but slightly bigger) appeared in my hand and I pinned him to the ground soonafter.
Instinct told me that the only way to stop him is to go for the kill. His right hand caught mine and we struggled for the knife. My position on top gave me the advantage... And I slowly drew the knife through his heart, and carved it across a couple of times to make sure.
Eeriely like a scene from Saving Private Ryan, between the German and US soldiers. They ran out of bullets and struggled with a jungle knife... Did I mention how much that movie grossed me out? I watched that months ago though.
The knife went thru him like butter... But it still did not kill him.
I then brought the knife up towards his throat, and sliced him slowly through the right to the left. After decapitating him, I simply ran, and did not bother to check if he was truely dead.
Nope, I don't remember the face of the man. I wasn't really afraid of him; Like I said, the dream would have woken me up if I was terrified.
The mysterious man in the dream was more like someone who wished to cause me harm, and I wanted to avoid and escape him... But he was too insistent. So I had to do the deed.
Worst thing tho? I had a happy while carving his heart and looking at his face.
Prophecy? Hope not. Woke up with a weird feeling in my guts and I don't really wish to relive it again.
Brrrr.
Monday, September 19, 2005
"Strange fits of passion have I known, and I will dare to tell, But in the lover's ear alone, what once to me befell."
Ahh, finally back home. Mel's 11days leave from NS ended.
Got a good news tho; He's posted out to become a RP (Resident Regiment Police? *Shrugs*) and he only has to work alternative days and maybe some weekends.
Not sure if it's an 8-5 job anot, but the alternate working days is way cool and I guess it won't be a problem if I find an employment that requires me to work on weekends.
Anyway, I welcomed this 5 new members into the cosy family of my room:
The old grandpa in the background is called the Master. Ignore him. He's just jealous I brought these widdle Spikes back home and of how much I wuv them. *Girlish giggles*
Now I've got 6 Spike figurines! 6!
Mel got these 5 lovely Spike(s) for me for $190. From the guy I was buying from. Ain't he sneaky? =)
I was so disappointed when the seller told me someone offered a higher price for his Spike merchandises that I was in quite a low mood. We'd then went out to buy a birthday present before we went down to Yishun for her birthday dinner.
Mel told me that he was going to pick something up from his campmate since the guy lives in Yishun too, so I grudgingly agreed despite running a little late.
We eventually got lost around the neighbourhood and after waiting in the car for 10mins for him to return, I blew my top at him until he passed me the huge paperbag and told me to see what's inside.
I'll tell you, I was so flustered and sheepish that I almost swallowed my own tongue. The intense guilt for yelling at him through-out the car trip is something I really don't wish to experience again, lol.
My boyfriend, Melvin Lim Jie Ying, theold-fashioned man who can't be romantic to save his life, spent all of his remaining pay on me?
Most importantly, he even planted a surprise? Oh my gawd! Lol =P
He even got me a new pair of sunglasses and some PEZ dispensers.
Did I mention how much I hate my nose?
Despite the fact that he spent half his time at the computer desk and a few "heated discussions" over the week, We had fun visiting toy/figurine shops for my BtVS figures and his Venom/Marvel/DC comic figures and spending so many days together.
It still bothers me whenever I think about how our future will pan out, but after our last argument(which was Saturday), I decided to take his shortcomings into stride. I'll only worry about it when I've reached my limits.
Got a good news tho; He's posted out to become a RP (
Not sure if it's an 8-5 job anot, but the alternate working days is way cool and I guess it won't be a problem if I find an employment that requires me to work on weekends.
Anyway, I welcomed this 5 new members into the cosy family of my room:
The old grandpa in the background is called the Master. Ignore him. He's just jealous I brought these widdle Spikes back home and of how much I wuv them. *Girlish giggles*
Now I've got 6 Spike figurines! 6!
Mel got these 5 lovely Spike(s) for me for $190. From the guy I was buying from. Ain't he sneaky? =)
I was so disappointed when the seller told me someone offered a higher price for his Spike merchandises that I was in quite a low mood. We'd then went out to buy a birthday present before we went down to Yishun for her birthday dinner.
Mel told me that he was going to pick something up from his campmate since the guy lives in Yishun too, so I grudgingly agreed despite running a little late.
We eventually got lost around the neighbourhood and after waiting in the car for 10mins for him to return, I blew my top at him until he passed me the huge paperbag and told me to see what's inside.
I'll tell you, I was so flustered and sheepish that I almost swallowed my own tongue. The intense guilt for yelling at him through-out the car trip is something I really don't wish to experience again, lol.
My boyfriend, Melvin Lim Jie Ying, the
Most importantly, he even planted a surprise? Oh my gawd! Lol =P
He even got me a new pair of sunglasses and some PEZ dispensers.
Did I mention how much I hate my nose?
Despite the fact that he spent half his time at the computer desk and a few "heated discussions" over the week, We had fun visiting toy/figurine shops for my BtVS figures and his Venom/Marvel/DC comic figures and spending so many days together.
It still bothers me whenever I think about how our future will pan out, but after our last argument(which was Saturday), I decided to take his shortcomings into stride. I'll only worry about it when I've reached my limits.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
*Rubs her palms together*
Tho I can't say I like Man Utd or Liverpool that much, but I'm going to give Owen a chance to make the Magpies proud on his debut today.
*Jiggles bum infront of Liverpool fans* Aww, all your bids this season failed! Boo hoo hoo!
Can't say I like Souness either... I'm loyal to Sir Bobby :( I mean, Ronaldo wanted to join Newcastle back then because he respects him. Let's just hope Owen will have a successful debut, and with Solano back and addition of Luque will bring us out of our goal draught aye, NUFC fans?
I mean, with Babayaro, Emre, Luque, Shearer, Owen, Solano, Parker and cutie pie Given etc, it's only a matter of time before they get at least top 6 this season. I love you Freddy Sheperd! ^^"
Interject: EHHH, WTF! FULHAM 1-0! SCRAM BACK TO AMERICA MCBRIDE YOU FAG!
Anyway, moving on, can I say WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL?!! Seriously, what's wrong with our society nowadays? There's more and more of this homicides that's too creepy.
I don't update myself with the news that often, but I know enough about the 2 maids killing their employer, the Huang Na gross murder, and now, decapitation and multilation?!
I swear, I'm DAMN glad my family prefers Indonesian maids. Not trying to make any racist remarks, but man, what those Phillipino maids did were cold-blooded. Maybe you'll say I'm being unfair to the multilated dead maids, but to deserve or provoke such heinous actions, one must have done something, right?
Betimes, such incidents might not have happened. But Singaporeans have came to feel superior over some other nations with our stability and development, that it's distressing that alot of people treat such horrid happenings with schadenfreude. Half of the people who attend the court trials in "concern for justice" are ostentatious.
Pah. Moving on to another subject, here's my movie review for:
The Longest Yard.
Watch it. Yet another film about convicts, but this show seriously kicks ass. If you appreciate Stone Cold, Goldberg, Kevin Nash and sweet Adam, you're gonna lament missing it on the big screen.
I mean, when Mel and I went to watch it at the cinema, we knew we would get to see Stone Cold, but we were happily surprised when we saw Kevin Nash and Goldberg. Stone Cold in fact got the least scenes. Kevin Nash was AWESOME! Lol. I never knew he would be this good in acting as a novice. He was one of the prison guards and was on the guards' American football team. After his Steroids replaced with oestrogen pills secretly, we had a laughing riot. He poked at his nipples and was all emotional constantly. Hilarious!
Goldberg was awesome too. One of the "good guys" prisoner, and he still has yummy muscles even after retiring from wrestling. He was depicted as having a monster in his pants. Rofl!
I can't even begin to describe how wonderfully they showed us life in prisons in America. Racial conflicts, gays, abusive guards, the way they eventually bond together and don't give a fuck what happens anymore since they don't exactly have a bright future ahead of them.
*Jiggles bum infront of Liverpool fans* Aww, all your bids this season failed! Boo hoo hoo!
Can't say I like Souness either... I'm loyal to Sir Bobby :( I mean, Ronaldo wanted to join Newcastle back then because he respects him. Let's just hope Owen will have a successful debut, and with Solano back and addition of Luque will bring us out of our goal draught aye, NUFC fans?
I mean, with Babayaro, Emre, Luque, Shearer, Owen, Solano, Parker and cutie pie Given etc, it's only a matter of time before they get at least top 6 this season. I love you Freddy Sheperd! ^^"
Interject: EHHH, WTF! FULHAM 1-0! SCRAM BACK TO AMERICA MCBRIDE YOU FAG!
Anyway, moving on, can I say WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL?!! Seriously, what's wrong with our society nowadays? There's more and more of this homicides that's too creepy.
I don't update myself with the news that often, but I know enough about the 2 maids killing their employer, the Huang Na gross murder, and now, decapitation and multilation?!
I swear, I'm DAMN glad my family prefers Indonesian maids. Not trying to make any racist remarks, but man, what those Phillipino maids did were cold-blooded. Maybe you'll say I'm being unfair to the multilated dead maids, but to deserve or provoke such heinous actions, one must have done something, right?
Betimes, such incidents might not have happened. But Singaporeans have came to feel superior over some other nations with our stability and development, that it's distressing that alot of people treat such horrid happenings with schadenfreude. Half of the people who attend the court trials in "concern for justice" are ostentatious.
Pah. Moving on to another subject, here's my movie review for:
The Longest Yard.
Watch it. Yet another film about convicts, but this show seriously kicks ass. If you appreciate Stone Cold, Goldberg, Kevin Nash and sweet Adam, you're gonna lament missing it on the big screen.
I mean, when Mel and I went to watch it at the cinema, we knew we would get to see Stone Cold, but we were happily surprised when we saw Kevin Nash and Goldberg. Stone Cold in fact got the least scenes. Kevin Nash was AWESOME! Lol. I never knew he would be this good in acting as a novice. He was one of the prison guards and was on the guards' American football team. After his Steroids replaced with oestrogen pills secretly, we had a laughing riot. He poked at his nipples and was all emotional constantly. Hilarious!
Goldberg was awesome too. One of the "good guys" prisoner, and he still has yummy muscles even after retiring from wrestling. He was depicted as having a monster in his pants. Rofl!
I can't even begin to describe how wonderfully they showed us life in prisons in America. Racial conflicts, gays, abusive guards, the way they eventually bond together and don't give a fuck what happens anymore since they don't exactly have a bright future ahead of them.
Bad ass. Yum. =d
4 1/2 stars out of 5. I don't believe in full marks since nothing is perfect. =P
'Kay, gonna go read some fanfics again. I swear, I've read at least a thousand fanfics, some of them novel length, ever since I started months ago. And I'm loving it. Heh xD K thx bye~
I shortcut home between Wade's tipsy shocks,
And lookout crows alert in the bare elm
Ask each other about this form that walks
Stubbled mud they consider their own farm.
They know there's death and loss where such shapes go.
I have no gun -- I even feel akin
To these rude, lively birds. But to a crow
Kinship means Crow, and I'm not of his clan.
Off they flap to the wood with a hoarse curse,
And though the landscape's greyer with them gone
I'm glad they're skeptics -- someday someone else
Trudging these ruts may raise a sudden gun.
Distrust me, crow! -- the not-as-crow, the other.
Croak, 'Damn your eyes!' and call no man your brother.
- Leah Bodine Drake
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
The day of 03.09.2005
Our 3rd year anniversary sort of started on the day before, at 9.30pm.
My presents for him were newly wrapped when he rang the doorbell and I let him in. I looked at him, and then pouted, remembering what happened on the 31st where he upsetted me.
He then presented this shiny to me:
Truth to be told, he's so NOT the candles and romance type of guy; he just passed me the package without flair, but I guess he at least tries.
Note: This is NOT an engagement ring or promise ring, so your rusty wheels in the brains can stop spinning for a bit. (I, for one, would want bigger diamonds on my engagement ring)
He loved the shirt I got him, and he'd wanted to buy the Battlefield 2 game anyway, and to prove how much he wanted it, he actually played it till 8.30am, until I couldn't take it anymore and outburst at him.
I mean, hello, it's our 3rd year anni! Did he absolutely have to play the game today? He then went on to tell me how he won't be free from now on, but what the heowww, he'd never been free since he went for NS!
We therefore had a quarrel for about 1 hour, and I went on to cry my eyes uber puffy, trying to let him know of his problems.
Whenever we quarrel, he will always end up with a guai lan attitude, and he HATES it when I cry. Almost as if he hates me. To him, it doesn't matter that I cry because I'm upset and hurt; Crying is just plain irritating, period. Hence, he always refuses to look in my direction.
Probably the biggest problem with Mel is that he never listens. Oh, he listens, but he never heeds any of my words or cares enough to bother. He hears, registers, but ignores the meaning. All he cares about is that once I stop ranting, he can come over to kiss me and apologise and make the matter rest asap. He promptly ignores me when I ask for his reply to my thoughts and will fly into a temper if I get upset again after cooling down.
Till now, I don't know which hurts more - Him with his guai lan and ennui attitude, or him looking away from me trying to ignore the fact that I'm crying. Maybe both.
Anyway, moving on to happier subjects, here's the photos I took on that day. We didn't do much, sadly, due to the fact that he stayed up all night(despite claiming he'll be energetic the whole day) and I only napped for a couple of hours.
It was basically a a longer than usual shopping day, 's all. So anyway, I decided to go to Far East to shop, since we missed it the week before, and I struck gold.
He went into a shop to look at a belt, but he ended up buying this bag for me:
Quite lovely, innit? Kinda didn't look at the price before buying it and Mel's eyes bulged when he paid. Lol =X.
Went on to a couple of accessories shops and got myself these sweeties:
By then, my feet started to hurt in those wood base 3 1/2 inch heels I was wearing.(Check out the bluish-green heels in one of my recent posts) and we were ready to go back to the carpark.
Thank gawd I decided to wander in Level One again before we go, b/c I found a lovely, LOVELY shop...
It's called Simply Toys...
The array of figurines on display gave me hope that I might find some Buffy the Vampire Slayer related merchandises and I went in with trepidation. Stayed in for like, 10minutes in the small shop looking over everything, but oh well, like most typical shops, it's filled with Star Wars and Marvel comic merchandises.
Mel got excited over some AvP figurines he wanted to buy, and a 12 inch Venom figurine that cost $270. *Takes note to save for it*
Was about to leave the shop when I casually swept my eyes up on top the display racks and I gave a loud gasp.
My breath caught in my throat and I covered my gasp...
My eyes widened and pupils dilated...
My kneels weakened and threatened to buckle...
MAMA MIA!!!!! MAMA!!!!!!!!
So, the benefit of having a boyfriend who's not romantic enough is that he tries to make it up by buying stuff for you. Ohhhh yes, it's allll MINE now!!!
xD !
Even tho the Spike figure was bought as my advanced birthday present,(Oh yes yes, my BIRTHDAY IS ON 3RD OCT! =P) I felt uncomfortable at the amount of money he'd spent on me and we went for a cheaper dinner instead of the Thai Village at ECP we originally planned >_>.
That didn't stop us from attacking the food at Suki Sushi tho...
And aren't we proud!
We then went on to watch One More Chance, by Jack Neo and gang. It's really awesome. I mean, what else can beat local films? Tons of "Nabei"s, funny dialogues in Hokkien that only Singaporeans will understand, and the typical Singaporean reaction to ex-convicts.
"The judge sentenced me to 10 years jail, and you sentenced me death!"
Hui-ge's interaction with the mother touched me most. When he cried uncontrollably(his expression was hilarious at the same time) in the scene when his mother told him she never gave up on him, I sobbed along. It reminded me of my situation with my mother and it wrenched my heart to see it acted out...
If you haven't watch it, make sure you do. Aside for the unsatisfactory and weird ending(watch it for yourself), you gotta love Jack Neo's new style in the movie.
Anyway, I know I've been posting quite abit of pictures lately, but bear with me for a week or so, and things will return to normal.
It's Melvin's PoP tomorrow, and we're going to the zoo somewhere this week, so there will be bombardments of photos yet again :D.
Gotta go now, 'ta.
I ask not how thy suffering came,
If by sin, or if by shame,
Or if by Fate's capricious rulings:
To my large pity all's the same.
My presents for him were newly wrapped when he rang the doorbell and I let him in. I looked at him, and then pouted, remembering what happened on the 31st where he upsetted me.
He then presented this shiny to me:
Truth to be told, he's so NOT the candles and romance type of guy; he just passed me the package without flair, but I guess he at least tries.
Note: This is NOT an engagement ring or promise ring, so your rusty wheels in the brains can stop spinning for a bit. (I, for one, would want bigger diamonds on my engagement ring)
He loved the shirt I got him, and he'd wanted to buy the Battlefield 2 game anyway, and to prove how much he wanted it, he actually played it till 8.30am, until I couldn't take it anymore and outburst at him.
I mean, hello, it's our 3rd year anni! Did he absolutely have to play the game today? He then went on to tell me how he won't be free from now on, but what the heowww, he'd never been free since he went for NS!
We therefore had a quarrel for about 1 hour, and I went on to cry my eyes uber puffy, trying to let him know of his problems.
Whenever we quarrel, he will always end up with a guai lan attitude, and he HATES it when I cry. Almost as if he hates me. To him, it doesn't matter that I cry because I'm upset and hurt; Crying is just plain irritating, period. Hence, he always refuses to look in my direction.
Probably the biggest problem with Mel is that he never listens. Oh, he listens, but he never heeds any of my words or cares enough to bother. He hears, registers, but ignores the meaning. All he cares about is that once I stop ranting, he can come over to kiss me and apologise and make the matter rest asap. He promptly ignores me when I ask for his reply to my thoughts and will fly into a temper if I get upset again after cooling down.
Till now, I don't know which hurts more - Him with his guai lan and ennui attitude, or him looking away from me trying to ignore the fact that I'm crying. Maybe both.
Anyway, moving on to happier subjects, here's the photos I took on that day. We didn't do much, sadly, due to the fact that he stayed up all night(despite claiming he'll be energetic the whole day) and I only napped for a couple of hours.
It was basically a a longer than usual shopping day, 's all. So anyway, I decided to go to Far East to shop, since we missed it the week before, and I struck gold.
He went into a shop to look at a belt, but he ended up buying this bag for me:
Quite lovely, innit? Kinda didn't look at the price before buying it and Mel's eyes bulged when he paid. Lol =X.
Went on to a couple of accessories shops and got myself these sweeties:
By then, my feet started to hurt in those wood base 3 1/2 inch heels I was wearing.(Check out the bluish-green heels in one of my recent posts) and we were ready to go back to the carpark.
Thank gawd I decided to wander in Level One again before we go, b/c I found a lovely, LOVELY shop...
It's called Simply Toys...
The array of figurines on display gave me hope that I might find some Buffy the Vampire Slayer related merchandises and I went in with trepidation. Stayed in for like, 10minutes in the small shop looking over everything, but oh well, like most typical shops, it's filled with Star Wars and Marvel comic merchandises.
Mel got excited over some AvP figurines he wanted to buy, and a 12 inch Venom figurine that cost $270. *Takes note to save for it*
Was about to leave the shop when I casually swept my eyes up on top the display racks and I gave a loud gasp.
My breath caught in my throat and I covered my gasp...
My eyes widened and pupils dilated...
My kneels weakened and threatened to buckle...
MAMA MIA!!!!! MAMA!!!!!!!!
So, the benefit of having a boyfriend who's not romantic enough is that he tries to make it up by buying stuff for you. Ohhhh yes, it's allll MINE now!!!
xD !
Even tho the Spike figure was bought as my advanced birthday present,(Oh yes yes, my BIRTHDAY IS ON 3RD OCT! =P) I felt uncomfortable at the amount of money he'd spent on me and we went for a cheaper dinner instead of the Thai Village at ECP we originally planned >_>.
That didn't stop us from attacking the food at Suki Sushi tho...
And aren't we proud!
We then went on to watch One More Chance, by Jack Neo and gang. It's really awesome. I mean, what else can beat local films? Tons of "Nabei"s, funny dialogues in Hokkien that only Singaporeans will understand, and the typical Singaporean reaction to ex-convicts.
"The judge sentenced me to 10 years jail, and you sentenced me death!"
Hui-ge's interaction with the mother touched me most. When he cried uncontrollably(his expression was hilarious at the same time) in the scene when his mother told him she never gave up on him, I sobbed along. It reminded me of my situation with my mother and it wrenched my heart to see it acted out...
If you haven't watch it, make sure you do. Aside for the unsatisfactory and weird ending(watch it for yourself), you gotta love Jack Neo's new style in the movie.
Anyway, I know I've been posting quite abit of pictures lately, but bear with me for a week or so, and things will return to normal.
It's Melvin's PoP tomorrow, and we're going to the zoo somewhere this week, so there will be bombardments of photos yet again :D.
Gotta go now, 'ta.
I ask not how thy suffering came,
If by sin, or if by shame,
Or if by Fate's capricious rulings:
To my large pity all's the same.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Whew...
I cried within 5 minutes of being back at home, when I had a reasonably great day today. My mum told me we're going to Msia on Tues night. Mel's POP is on Wednesday morning.
Thank goodness it turned out we would go off on Wednesday night and not Tues. But the earliest date I can return on is Saturday morning, shall I skip Genting after visiting my AhMa in Penang. Sigh.
The tickets and hotel accomodations have already been booked and paid for, and I'm frankly quite grateful that they paid it all for me. I know that if I reject their offer, it could somehow dampened our already weak relationship and I most prolly won't get an invitation to a family trip again.
Dilemna, dilemna...
Mel will be off from NS from Wednesday till Sunday, and the trip is from Wednesday till Saturday. Which should I choose? I'm relieved that I would be able to make it for his Pass-Out Parade, but should I go for the trip, or stay in SG?
I so do not want to go near my mum or my sis-in-law to ask for opinions right now. My mum apparently misplaced her 5-figure sum diamond jewellery box(Which I would like to mention- ARGH, would be MINE. Let's just hope she will recover them) and they are discussing whether my mum just misplaced it somewhere in the room or if my maid stole it(She's back in Indonesia for a month before she returns to renew the contract).
Shit really likes to happen around my household. *Deep sigh*
I'll update about the anniversary later when my mood recovers.
Thank goodness it turned out we would go off on Wednesday night and not Tues. But the earliest date I can return on is Saturday morning, shall I skip Genting after visiting my AhMa in Penang. Sigh.
The tickets and hotel accomodations have already been booked and paid for, and I'm frankly quite grateful that they paid it all for me. I know that if I reject their offer, it could somehow dampened our already weak relationship and I most prolly won't get an invitation to a family trip again.
Dilemna, dilemna...
Mel will be off from NS from Wednesday till Sunday, and the trip is from Wednesday till Saturday. Which should I choose? I'm relieved that I would be able to make it for his Pass-Out Parade, but should I go for the trip, or stay in SG?
I so do not want to go near my mum or my sis-in-law to ask for opinions right now. My mum apparently misplaced her 5-figure sum diamond jewellery box(Which I would like to mention- ARGH, would be MINE. Let's just hope she will recover them) and they are discussing whether my mum just misplaced it somewhere in the room or if my maid stole it(She's back in Indonesia for a month before she returns to renew the contract).
Shit really likes to happen around my household. *Deep sigh*
I'll update about the anniversary later when my mood recovers.
Friday, September 02, 2005
As promised, the pics galore.
First I'll start off with a pic of me trying to be funny in my hip-hop-shirt-turned-PJ, acccompanied by my secondary school tie. And apparently I didn't manage to shoot my eyebrows:
Then I move to Shawn and Alan, whom I asked to give me "Dua Pek Gong" or similar pose. Shawn borrowed my specs and they gave me this:
Anyway, turned out Shawn knows Xiao Hei, grew up with my first love Calvin Boey, and saw my current bf around before. What a coincidence!
Then they commented that Zhiwei can always audition for roles that depicts businessman who went out of work. Whatcha think?:
Then Shawn acted all kooky and wanted to take an "artistic" pic of Alan:
Then I took one for Shawn and his kawaii girlfriend, Vannessa, who lives near me, actually:
When I retired home for the night, the guys went to Shawn's house for a tattoo-ing session for RuiSheng. I asked my bro to bring my digicam with him to take some pics of his agony. Lol:
Here's RuiSheng trying to act brave after the outlining:
Heh. Wish I was there to hear his screams lol. So anyway, if you want to get tattoo-ed, feel free to contact me and help my friend's new business. I'm sure he'll give a discount or something =P
MINE!!!
Okay, so maybe not mine. It belongs to my god-bro, lol. Borrowed it with the amp from him to try learning it. It's a pretty sweet thing. :D
Alright, I have a big day tomorrow; Mel's booking out. Gotta sleep now since I have to wake up in the early noon. 'Ta!
Then I move to Shawn and Alan, whom I asked to give me "Dua Pek Gong" or similar pose. Shawn borrowed my specs and they gave me this:
Anyway, turned out Shawn knows Xiao Hei, grew up with my first love Calvin Boey, and saw my current bf around before. What a coincidence!
Then they commented that Zhiwei can always audition for roles that depicts businessman who went out of work. Whatcha think?:
Then Shawn acted all kooky and wanted to take an "artistic" pic of Alan:
Then I took one for Shawn and his kawaii girlfriend, Vannessa, who lives near me, actually:
When I retired home for the night, the guys went to Shawn's house for a tattoo-ing session for RuiSheng. I asked my bro to bring my digicam with him to take some pics of his agony. Lol:
Here's RuiSheng trying to act brave after the outlining:
Heh. Wish I was there to hear his screams lol. So anyway, if you want to get tattoo-ed, feel free to contact me and help my friend's new business. I'm sure he'll give a discount or something =P
MINE!!!
Okay, so maybe not mine. It belongs to my god-bro, lol. Borrowed it with the amp from him to try learning it. It's a pretty sweet thing. :D
Alright, I have a big day tomorrow; Mel's booking out. Gotta sleep now since I have to wake up in the early noon. 'Ta!
Thursday, September 01, 2005
All I can say is...
WOOOOOOHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, enough of my P-U.SF =P No, I'm not going to explain what P-U.SF means. You may have your fun trying to scramble the acroynm, but it's mostly for myself to look and laugh at.
Anyhoo, my niece, SinYee, is bloody adorable. She's a 3 year old brat, yea, but the way she acted when my mum refused to let her play with the straw constantly? Priceless. She ran into the room, tried to close it and waved her arm trying to smack away my mum's hand, until my mum relented and she locked the door in her face.
Ahh, yes, a perfect spoilt princess in the making. Thanks to my mum and uncle. I wonder how she's going to take it when my incoming new niece is due on October. *Am listening to her cry right now*
Oh yes yes, I'm the "proud" Aunt of 3 lovely girls, Eileen (20), Jasmine (18), SinYee (3). 4 girls come October. I've been an Aunt all my life by the way; my sis conceived Eileen 6 months before my mum. I kinda resigned myself to the fate when I get to meet my nieces' boyfriends and exs.
"Oh ______, meet Jennifer, my Auntie." Accent on Auntie.
Yes Jasmine, I'd never fail to notice your sis and you always stressing on the fact that I'm your Auntie. Can't even make it sound nicer and a little more sophisticated with Aunt. =( Makes me feel all old and prudish.
So anyway, if I'm not wrong, I'm going to my di's place to play Monopoly with him, Zhiwei, Rui Sheng, Shawn and their girlfriends. Should be a bloody riot; haven't played that game since I was a sodding kid.
I had my bro take my digicam over yesterday night so he can take photos of Shawn tattoo-ing for my friends. Hopefully he captured their tortured expressions. I'll upload the pics tomorrow.
I just wish Mel wouldn't be that jealous; it would put me in a better state of mind. It's not that he's insecured and what all, he's just jealous of the fact that my friends get to spend time with me and he don't. Sigh.
I had an small episode with Melvin yesterday and it's upsetting me more than I'm willing to admit, what with the anniversary coming up in 2 days and all. In fact, I was so freakin' tired last night but after the quarrel, the frustration + insomnia kicked in and I haven't had a wink yet.
I just hope tonight will be a fun one and perhaps ask them for some ideas for a present. What can I say? The old Jennifer is no more.
Time to get off now. 'Ta.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Quizzes~
| Spike 63% amorality, 90% passion, 45% spirituality, 63% selflessness |
| Ruthless, passionate, ravenous and--when it comes to it--devoted to those you love. Sound okay? Sounds like Spike, a character at times a hero and others a villain, but always compelling, dynamic and driven. Based on the results of this test, you're like Spike in every way but the fangs. Congratulations! |
 |
Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST
I'm actually Dawn Summers since I'm female, but I prefer the male version of my personality anyway ^_^.
-------------------------------------------------------------Your word is CRAP. You come across as sweet and
innocent, yet underneath it all there is a
quite nasty streak. Gossiping and being
critical of others comes a bit too naturally to
you. And people will begin to see through the
sickly sweet exterior soon.
Which Swear (Curse) Word Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, August 29, 2005
Wee!!!
Had a great weekend. Prolly because I had a wonderful dinner at Marche of my favourite rosti (yum yum!) and seafood, and I got 3 new pair of heels yesterday! xD
My lovelies~
$13 cream siletto heels from Tinkerbell, Cineleisure. Cheap! :
Lovely, lovely heels #1 my sis-in-law bought for me in Thailand:
Lovely shoes #2. Low heels, comfy and muahaha, all MINE~! :
Up next week: Shopping for clothes! Gawd, it really is time to start buying some new clothes. I'm a 20 years old girl-to-be-woman, and I only shop for new clothes during every Chinese New Year! Just saying it out loud made me feel like a dysfunctional female. Heh.
*Does a jig in the middle of the night* My maid went back to her kampong for a month before she returns to renew her contract. Gawd, I love my privacy. I've been sharing my room with the maids since 11 years old, and it absolutely sucks.
I'm gonna make full use of this short-term privacy. *Evil grin*
Anyway, comment on this for me :
If you're wondering what's the light shadow between the "thing", thats because it was wiggling. So, what does it look like to you on first sight?
Is it: a) A mutant lizard with no limbs, b) An new specie of bug/reptile, or c) A lizard tail ?
I squatted down in front of it and spent a good 5 minutes staring at the wiggly thing, before I grew flustered and grabbed my digicam to snap it. When it finally wiggled into a better position and showed me the "head", I realised I was staring at a freakin' lizard tail all that time.
PAH!
It was insulting, I tell you. Good waste of my smoking break gawking at that stuff.
*Shakes head at herself* Ah well, time for my nightly smoking break again... 'Night!
"Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them."
- Shakespeare
My lovelies~
$13 cream siletto heels from Tinkerbell, Cineleisure. Cheap! :
Lovely, lovely heels #1 my sis-in-law bought for me in Thailand:
Lovely shoes #2. Low heels, comfy and muahaha, all MINE~! :
Up next week: Shopping for clothes! Gawd, it really is time to start buying some new clothes. I'm a 20 years old girl-to-be-woman, and I only shop for new clothes during every Chinese New Year! Just saying it out loud made me feel like a dysfunctional female. Heh.
*Does a jig in the middle of the night* My maid went back to her kampong for a month before she returns to renew her contract. Gawd, I love my privacy. I've been sharing my room with the maids since 11 years old, and it absolutely sucks.
I'm gonna make full use of this short-term privacy. *Evil grin*
Anyway, comment on this for me :
If you're wondering what's the light shadow between the "thing", thats because it was wiggling. So, what does it look like to you on first sight?
Is it: a) A mutant lizard with no limbs, b) An new specie of bug/reptile, or c) A lizard tail ?
I squatted down in front of it and spent a good 5 minutes staring at the wiggly thing, before I grew flustered and grabbed my digicam to snap it. When it finally wiggled into a better position and showed me the "head", I realised I was staring at a freakin' lizard tail all that time.
PAH!
It was insulting, I tell you. Good waste of my smoking break gawking at that stuff.
*Shakes head at herself* Ah well, time for my nightly smoking break again... 'Night!
"Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them."
- Shakespeare
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
As You Were.
I was in the bathroom after my business when I realised I often spend a good deal of time looking into the mirror.
It has everything to do with inferiority about my looks, my hair, my figure, and also the fact about who is the one staring right back at me in the mirror.
I shall not go into the long theory about my life, yadda yadda since I've been doing that way too much nowadays.
So anyway, I was staring at my chest just now, and I wondered why they appear so much bigger on film. FULLY-CLOTHED, THANK YOU! They look okay to me in the showers or in the mirror.
I used to be indifferent to it you know; just another body part. So ok, it's 85D, or 38D whatever, and some women would want that, but I guess I'm starting to hate it.
First off, I look HUGE on film or in baggy clothes. Like elephant huge! They tend to stretch my tops. Secondly, I have to wear dark-coloured and fitting numbers that makes me look revealing and slutty to look slimmer. Thirdly, they give me severe backaches. Fourthly(?), I always have to worry about them sagging. UGH. Last but not least, most of those dead sexy lacy lingeries don't have my size. ARGH.
Maybe I should really consider my mum's suggestion of shrinking them.
Anyway, I at least get to buy sexy or lovely heels to go with the fitting clothes, but my mum gave one of my favourite pair to my niece earlier on :( I mean, I'd only took them out for suggestions, but my mum went ahead and ask Jas to take it even tho it was obviously too big for her.
It's not that often that my mum manages to buy me lovely heels(and not Auntie-ish ones!) like that, but friends should know that I'm not one to say "No".
Oh well~ At least I had Melvin to pacify me, and he promised me he'll bring me on a shopping binge this weekend to get prettier shoes and prolly some new clothes. It'll be nice to attract some appreciative looks from men when we go to Liquid Room on Saturday night. =P
It's also high time to start doting on myself again. I'm going for an interview or sorts with Jasmine on Thursday. Temporary job, pay's fine, time's flexible. Hope I can start to earn some spending money asap.
I'm still thinking if I should wear formal or smart casual for our 3rd year Anniversary. Italian restaurant, or Crystal Jade again? Hmm... Maybe Pariss this time...
Bleah~ Decisions, decisions. Anybody has any dining suggestions for scrumptious food? Tag me please!
Going to Genting with the whole family next Sunday, which is the day after the anniversary. Tickets were booked without informing us. Ugh. I just hope that I'll get enough alone time on my own there.
It has everything to do with inferiority about my looks, my hair, my figure, and also the fact about who is the one staring right back at me in the mirror.
I shall not go into the long theory about my life, yadda yadda since I've been doing that way too much nowadays.
So anyway, I was staring at my chest just now, and I wondered why they appear so much bigger on film. FULLY-CLOTHED, THANK YOU! They look okay to me in the showers or in the mirror.
I used to be indifferent to it you know; just another body part. So ok, it's 85D, or 38D whatever, and some women would want that, but I guess I'm starting to hate it.
First off, I look HUGE on film or in baggy clothes. Like elephant huge! They tend to stretch my tops. Secondly, I have to wear dark-coloured and fitting numbers that makes me look revealing and slutty to look slimmer. Thirdly, they give me severe backaches. Fourthly(?), I always have to worry about them sagging. UGH. Last but not least, most of those dead sexy lacy lingeries don't have my size. ARGH.
Maybe I should really consider my mum's suggestion of shrinking them.
Anyway, I at least get to buy sexy or lovely heels to go with the fitting clothes, but my mum gave one of my favourite pair to my niece earlier on :( I mean, I'd only took them out for suggestions, but my mum went ahead and ask Jas to take it even tho it was obviously too big for her.
It's not that often that my mum manages to buy me lovely heels(and not Auntie-ish ones!) like that, but friends should know that I'm not one to say "No".
Oh well~ At least I had Melvin to pacify me, and he promised me he'll bring me on a shopping binge this weekend to get prettier shoes and prolly some new clothes. It'll be nice to attract some appreciative looks from men when we go to Liquid Room on Saturday night. =P
It's also high time to start doting on myself again. I'm going for an interview or sorts with Jasmine on Thursday. Temporary job, pay's fine, time's flexible. Hope I can start to earn some spending money asap.
I'm still thinking if I should wear formal or smart casual for our 3rd year Anniversary. Italian restaurant, or Crystal Jade again? Hmm... Maybe Pariss this time...
Bleah~ Decisions, decisions. Anybody has any dining suggestions for scrumptious food? Tag me please!
Going to Genting with the whole family next Sunday, which is the day after the anniversary. Tickets were booked without informing us. Ugh. I just hope that I'll get enough alone time on my own there.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Hmm...
Hot chocolate in hand, with the lovely tiny marshmallows floating around in the mug, the silence of the night... I guess I'd managed to find my temporary solace tonight.
Had a big fight with Mel yesterday when we were out... Almost ending up in a breakup. The incident's still raw in my mind and bringing it up will only hurt again. 'Sides, its not the first time something like this happened. I should have gotten used to it long ago...
So anyway, moving from one upsetting subject to another, I quarrelled with my mother. Again. It doesn't help that we both are down with a case of depression; mine's not as heavy tho.
She's always paranoid and repetitive, and she can spend days nagging/scolding the same old thing to me. I knew that it's fueled by her depression and her age, but bad temper runs in the family; I could never get my mouth shut when she starts insulting me.
Had a talk with Mel and my sis-in-law. Mel told me to bite the bullet and bear with it; my sis-in-law asked me to understand my mother's situation. Both made sense.
I should be thankful she no longer uses physical violence on me since the last 2 years or so. I shudder to recall the chopping knife incident when I was 14, or the frequent beatings I got all over my body since 10. Those were bad times.
What didn't change was her words. They never get any gentler; Instead, they grow harsher by the day. I know that I'm a disappointment that I'm a P.h.D - Poly halfway dropout, and not being successful in getting a permanent job, when I have the brains.
I know that I'm not bad-looking at all, and I do have some brains, and even if I'm not one of the best, I could have eased past Poly if I really tried. But what's done is done. Mistakes have been lamented long ago but I get reminded of my failure every single day.
I try to move on but all I hear everyday since young, were "nobody likes you anymore", No... "Who are the guys mentioned in your diary?" Why...? "Are you so happy to be a prostitute?" What..? "Miss Ng, I know why her grades are slipping. I saw her diary and she goes around calling guys Lao Gong" and all sorts of Hokkien vulgaric insults.
"Ma, I'm going out with my god-bro and old schoolmates to celebrate his birthday." "Don't tell Ah Mel that you go out with guys, if you know what's good for you" "Why do you always quarrel with Mel if you don't bear to leave him? Why do you still go around doing hanky-panky stuff with other men?"
Her truculent words cut into my heart and it bled, and bled, and bled...
Yes, my mum chose to believe some kpo aunties who prolly lives on the 7th or 6th floor who told my mum I was hugging and cuddling some guy down my block.
First thing - I occasionally meet Mel at the 7th floor to smoke before he comes into my house. There was a night when my god-bro went to the 24hours coffee shop to drink with his friends and I went down to smoke and chat with him.
Alan is a very endeared friend who'd surprisingly kept in contact with me, and brought me out of "stoning" at home and made me go out with our old schoolmates. We would sometimes sit down and talk about our problems, well, mainly my problems, and he would spare me a listening ear when my other listening ear has to be in camp.
Maybe you guys won't know how special it is to have someone who just cares for you and don't judge you, but I do. One of the reasons why I cling on to my bf is that he seldom judges me, loves me dearly, and even tho he's helpless in giving me advices, he tries his best to make me feel happier and forget the pain for awhile.
Alan does that too. He and I may not keep in contact regularly, But then, I've lost contact with my best friend, y'no? That's why I look upon him as the kid bro I never had. Part of my extended family who gives me the sibling caring I've always craved for, and not the obligatory ersatz sympathy I get sometimes.
But no, my mum doesn't believe that it's strictly platonic. I'd only chatted with my god-bro down my block once, and we were just sitting next to each other while I chain-smoked. The only other male contact I have is my bf. My mum didn't even bother to stop and think that maybe the neighbours saw me with Mel. Noooooo... I have to be doing hanky-panky stuff with other men.
I'd remained silent when she went on her usual rant telling me how fucked up I am, but I couldn't help but shout at her again when she doubted my fidelity. I felt bad about shouting at her, but looking at her locked door, and my own locked door, I knew that there's nothing much I could do anymore.
Nothing's gonna remedy my first 11 years of life living in and loving another family. Growing up with a caring elder bro and an elder sister who canes me when I made mistakes but loved me dearly, a mother who's always there to take care of us, a father, and also a father who talks to me sternly but kindly when I made a mistake instead of hitting me. A family who cramps into the master bedroom for the aircon in excitement every Monday. A family who treats me like their own even tho my surname's not Tan.
Had a big fight with Mel yesterday when we were out... Almost ending up in a breakup. The incident's still raw in my mind and bringing it up will only hurt again. 'Sides, its not the first time something like this happened. I should have gotten used to it long ago...
So anyway, moving from one upsetting subject to another, I quarrelled with my mother. Again. It doesn't help that we both are down with a case of depression; mine's not as heavy tho.
She's always paranoid and repetitive, and she can spend days nagging/scolding the same old thing to me. I knew that it's fueled by her depression and her age, but bad temper runs in the family; I could never get my mouth shut when she starts insulting me.
Had a talk with Mel and my sis-in-law. Mel told me to bite the bullet and bear with it; my sis-in-law asked me to understand my mother's situation. Both made sense.
I should be thankful she no longer uses physical violence on me since the last 2 years or so. I shudder to recall the chopping knife incident when I was 14, or the frequent beatings I got all over my body since 10. Those were bad times.
What didn't change was her words. They never get any gentler; Instead, they grow harsher by the day. I know that I'm a disappointment that I'm a P.h.D - Poly halfway dropout, and not being successful in getting a permanent job, when I have the brains.
I know that I'm not bad-looking at all, and I do have some brains, and even if I'm not one of the best, I could have eased past Poly if I really tried. But what's done is done. Mistakes have been lamented long ago but I get reminded of my failure every single day.
I try to move on but all I hear everyday since young, were "nobody likes you anymore", No... "Who are the guys mentioned in your diary?" Why...? "Are you so happy to be a prostitute?" What..? "Miss Ng, I know why her grades are slipping. I saw her diary and she goes around calling guys Lao Gong" and all sorts of Hokkien vulgaric insults.
"Ma, I'm going out with my god-bro and old schoolmates to celebrate his birthday." "Don't tell Ah Mel that you go out with guys, if you know what's good for you" "Why do you always quarrel with Mel if you don't bear to leave him? Why do you still go around doing hanky-panky stuff with other men?"
Her truculent words cut into my heart and it bled, and bled, and bled...
Yes, my mum chose to believe some kpo aunties who prolly lives on the 7th or 6th floor who told my mum I was hugging and cuddling some guy down my block.
First thing - I occasionally meet Mel at the 7th floor to smoke before he comes into my house. There was a night when my god-bro went to the 24hours coffee shop to drink with his friends and I went down to smoke and chat with him.
Alan is a very endeared friend who'd surprisingly kept in contact with me, and brought me out of "stoning" at home and made me go out with our old schoolmates. We would sometimes sit down and talk about our problems, well, mainly my problems, and he would spare me a listening ear when my other listening ear has to be in camp.
Maybe you guys won't know how special it is to have someone who just cares for you and don't judge you, but I do. One of the reasons why I cling on to my bf is that he seldom judges me, loves me dearly, and even tho he's helpless in giving me advices, he tries his best to make me feel happier and forget the pain for awhile.
Alan does that too. He and I may not keep in contact regularly, But then, I've lost contact with my best friend, y'no? That's why I look upon him as the kid bro I never had. Part of my extended family who gives me the sibling caring I've always craved for, and not the obligatory ersatz sympathy I get sometimes.
But no, my mum doesn't believe that it's strictly platonic. I'd only chatted with my god-bro down my block once, and we were just sitting next to each other while I chain-smoked. The only other male contact I have is my bf. My mum didn't even bother to stop and think that maybe the neighbours saw me with Mel. Noooooo... I have to be doing hanky-panky stuff with other men.
I'd remained silent when she went on her usual rant telling me how fucked up I am, but I couldn't help but shout at her again when she doubted my fidelity. I felt bad about shouting at her, but looking at her locked door, and my own locked door, I knew that there's nothing much I could do anymore.
Nothing's gonna remedy my first 11 years of life living in and loving another family. Growing up with a caring elder bro and an elder sister who canes me when I made mistakes but loved me dearly, a mother who's always there to take care of us, a father, and also a father who talks to me sternly but kindly when I made a mistake instead of hitting me. A family who cramps into the master bedroom for the aircon in excitement every Monday. A family who treats me like their own even tho my surname's not Tan.
I still love each and every one of them even tho we've gradually faded away from contact now.
I know that my mum did not mean for me to grow up with my nanny, but given my father's abusive behaviour and her long hours of work, I appreciate what she'd gotten me out of - domestic abuse. Still, isn't that what she did to me in the end when I went back to stay with her?
I don't know how to talk to her, to make myself and also her to open up and chat, without dissolving into a sobbing mess and getting no results in the end. I've tried... Oh I've tried. But the outcomes always hurt and we sealed ourselves up rapidly after.
Life is but ephemeral, yet it has little meaning for me right now. I'm clutching at straws... Trying to see light in every situation and make myself happy but failing horribly in the end. The only things keeping me abound is my love of my mother and bf, and my love of being in love and being loved in return.
That and also because I'm not gutsy enough to do the deed of ending my sodding life.
Months ago, if any of you'd asked me if I know who I am and what I want, I might have grinned at you and say, "Definitely". Now I just feel like throwing my head back and roar in laughter at my denial. I'm just a wastrel who wallows in self-pity and dilatory.
I'm ashamed of myself and yet at the same time I don't have the strength or willingness to pull myself up. Every night I'm cursed with insomnia and I always wish for eternity sleep the moment before sleep finally claims me...
We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
while the blue night dropped on the world.
I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.
Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.
I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.
Where were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and feel you are far away?
The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.
Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statues.
- Pablo Neruda
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Happy Birthday James Marsters!
Happy 43rd Birthday, James Marsters!
I will always love you!
*Jiggles around and belts out birthday and love songs for James*
Friday, August 19, 2005
Land of the Dead.
Went to watch Land of the Dead earlier on at PS with Alan and Zhi Hao.
We were psyched to watch some gross action and maybe get a good scare. I mean, hello? I've not watched a single horror movie in 3 years(all thanks to Mel, chicken guts!) and I thought maybe this time I'll be pampered into a good scare, to keep the andrenaline pumping, y'no?
But nah, just a little gross. I jumped a little at the beginning of the movie, not knowing what to expect, but I got used to it soon.
Basically the movie runs down to this - Somehow, there are walkers all over the world, some rich git fenced up a city and sold apartments in a fancyass building right smack in the middle of the city, to make himself soddin richer.
Bunch of guys, some are "renegades", some work for the rich fag, most just want to get a rush for killing the zombies and ridding the world off them. Therefore, *Grr* *Arrghh* *Munch* *Slurp* *Roar* *Bullets and missiles flying everywhere*
Fight fight fight, then one of the "cleaners" simply wanted to get an apartment in the building, got refused, betrayed, decided to blow the building up with the bloody ponce's 2million dollars truck.
Zombies got smarter, used guns and weapons, and swam towards the fenced off city to kill and feed, blah blah blah, feed feed feed, chomp chomp chomp, intestines here, livers there, rich wanker died and hero saves the day, yadda yadda.
May I insert an important word into my review here - Anticlimax.
Gross factor out of 10 = maybe 7? Fades to 5.5/6 after you get used to it. Scary factor = 4. And I'm being really kind already.
If you're a horror movie regular, don't bother watching it unless you're desperate for your fix. I mean, hello, I got so bored that I eventually munched into my popcorn feverishly when I saw the zombies eating the humans, imagining that I was eating human flesh too. Lol~
Still, it could be because of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where I watched demons and monsters feed off humans etc and got used to the whole feeding factor.
The only 2 parts that grossed me out was - 1) the zombie whose head was dangling by just a few nerves, and he swung his body forward to allow his head to come forward and bite the guy. 2) A zombie bit the belly piercing off a woman and the blood rush through her belly button. That was relatively realistic to me, so I cringed.
Moreover, most of the victims who got chewed on or got chunks of their flesh bitten off just screamed and screamed. And screamed. I mean, I would have yelled bloody murder and my face will scrunch up and contort in pain n'all!
Bah, nvm, don't think I should add anymore spoilers since I've revealed enough. Time to get to bed. G'night.
Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.
-Dag Hammarskjöld
We were psyched to watch some gross action and maybe get a good scare. I mean, hello? I've not watched a single horror movie in 3 years(all thanks to Mel, chicken guts!) and I thought maybe this time I'll be pampered into a good scare, to keep the andrenaline pumping, y'no?
But nah, just a little gross. I jumped a little at the beginning of the movie, not knowing what to expect, but I got used to it soon.
Basically the movie runs down to this - Somehow, there are walkers all over the world, some rich git fenced up a city and sold apartments in a fancyass building right smack in the middle of the city, to make himself soddin richer.
Bunch of guys, some are "renegades", some work for the rich fag, most just want to get a rush for killing the zombies and ridding the world off them. Therefore, *Grr* *Arrghh* *Munch* *Slurp* *Roar* *Bullets and missiles flying everywhere*
Fight fight fight, then one of the "cleaners" simply wanted to get an apartment in the building, got refused, betrayed, decided to blow the building up with the bloody ponce's 2million dollars truck.
Zombies got smarter, used guns and weapons, and swam towards the fenced off city to kill and feed, blah blah blah, feed feed feed, chomp chomp chomp, intestines here, livers there, rich wanker died and hero saves the day, yadda yadda.
May I insert an important word into my review here - Anticlimax.
Gross factor out of 10 = maybe 7? Fades to 5.5/6 after you get used to it. Scary factor = 4. And I'm being really kind already.
If you're a horror movie regular, don't bother watching it unless you're desperate for your fix. I mean, hello, I got so bored that I eventually munched into my popcorn feverishly when I saw the zombies eating the humans, imagining that I was eating human flesh too. Lol~
Still, it could be because of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where I watched demons and monsters feed off humans etc and got used to the whole feeding factor.
The only 2 parts that grossed me out was - 1) the zombie whose head was dangling by just a few nerves, and he swung his body forward to allow his head to come forward and bite the guy. 2) A zombie bit the belly piercing off a woman and the blood rush through her belly button. That was relatively realistic to me, so I cringed.
Moreover, most of the victims who got chewed on or got chunks of their flesh bitten off just screamed and screamed. And screamed. I mean, I would have yelled bloody murder and my face will scrunch up and contort in pain n'all!
Bah, nvm, don't think I should add anymore spoilers since I've revealed enough. Time to get to bed. G'night.
Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.
-Dag Hammarskjöld
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Naval Base Sec. Sch, 4E1, Class of 2001.
First off, I wanna say this: I missed ya guys, class of 2001!!! Namely, I miss the following people more:
Jennifer - (also known as xiao Jennifer because of her petite size even tho she's older.) Yes Jennifer, I missed ya. I missed the times we hang out at your house or at Jurong, and the times we used to hang out together when you 1st retained to my class year until the other girls grabbed you away *grins* We were kinda like the Ah Lians in the top class *grins wider* The 2 Jennifers. Rofl!
Zi Hui, Shu Ting, Qiu Ling and Hui Ru - You girls were great! Even tho I hung out with the other group most of the time, you girls were friendly and willing to accept me into your group when I quarrelled with Ling Yan. I was so touched. Qiu Ling was friendly, Zi Hui was understanding, Shu Ting was cute and Hui Ru was quiet but my friend since Pri. Sch. Love you girls =)
Ling Yan - What can I say? You are my best friend. You still are, even tho we've lost contact recently. Got to know the rest of the group from you and I never regretted it. You are the only friend I ever quarrelled with, and that speaks volume. You cry with me when I'm deeply upset and often sleeps over to accompany me. We hung out constantly and were so close together.
Lin Mo - My pesky and towering China classmate from hell; He was my "mama" and Wei Sheng my "papa". Lol. We were always competitive in Chinese class because I was the top student in class before he came along, and the only subject I truly win him in was English. He's a genius. We love to torture each other with words back when we sat beside each other. He even let me copy homework from him! Lol~
My "Pillars": When my schoolwork started to deteriorate, I was ordered to sit in the front left corner of the classroom instead of my original backrow, corner seat beside the window.(*grins wildly* Best seat, I know.) I had 3 pillars around me and I wasn't sure if it was intentional. Lim Li Ping, Sec 1 Top Student sat beside me. Seow Hua Ming, Sec 2 Top Student, sat behind her. Chen Wei Sheng, Sec 3 Top Student sat behind me. LOL! Li Ping was actually a very quiet and demure girl who never looked down at me(cos hello, top class. There will always be snobs) because I was the odd one out who loves more fun than studying. We were often caught chitter-chatting and Miss Ng will blame me. She is also the only pillar that lets me copy homework sometimes. LOL! I simply adored her and Zhi Yang who was another one didn't judge me and was freakingly smart too. Both were my classmates since Sec 1. I loved my pillars. They are really cool, smart people.
I was bouncing on the bed listening to my songs when I decided to flip thru my secondary school project photo album for English class.
Looked at the class photos through out the years and I couldn't help grinning. In Sec 1-2, my main group of friends were Mandy, Kasthuri, and Kaithri. Surprisingly, we stood near each other in the photos because of the closeness of height. In Sec 3 and 4, I was best mates with Ling Yan, and within the class itself, I hung out with Yiwen, Qiu Ling, Zi Hui and Shu Ting. By coincidence, we would always stand beside each other without doing it purposely.
I used to hang out with Si Nee, Yi Wen, Li Ting and Ling Yan during recess time and when school finishes we would go to Sun Plaza/North Point frequently(we were practically joined at the hips and almost close enough to be called sisters), but I mixed more with guys in NPCC and when I'm out. Funny huh?
The memories I'd accumulated thru-out the 4 years are indelible. So much have changed.
I wish I remained the same size as I was 12-13 years old. Simply perfect. Tons of memories flew through my mind when I flipped through the photographs, and I realised why I wasn't that popular.
I was too affable and friendly that some people think I'm flirty when I simply wanted more friends; My chest had been the centre of topic in the 4 years and I was known to the Upper Sec. students by the time I got to Sec 2. The more garrulous girls gave me nicknames like "BBW"(Big breast woman *rolls eyes*), which was rumoured to be started my Sec 1-2 classmate, B**Yi. *Shrugs*
Well I mean, we were all around 14 years old and name-calling was in the "rage". My best friend in lower sec, Kaithri was called Wild Boar, so I usually turn a blind eye and got used to it. Until the guy I crushed on for 2 years, Zhi Qi, called me the name, that is.
But hey! At least I got him to flirt with me during Sec 2 even tho I fell down splat in front of him and Weilong etc in Sec 1.
I wish I could go back in time and change things. I mean, hello, I may be defiant and lazy at times, but I don't come by as a prefect and stay in the top class for nothing! Some of my guy classmates/NPCC squadmates look upon me as a bimbo just because I have bigger breasts than the other girls.
I wish I wasn't so friendly and such a pushover when it comes to friendship. I mean, some thought of me as an Ah Lian, which I guess I was, since I always mixed with my guy friends and I never stood down to threats. I shouldn't have bothered about the insincere people.
I only had 1 "problem" occuring in school tho. Naval Base is, or rather was, well-known for the "Ah Lians and Ah Bengs" so beside the geeks and nerds, most of the students were bullied or got "jio-meng" before. I thought I was going to graduate unscathed by apparently, not.
The Sec 5 basketball girls back then were notorious because they were doted on by Mr Chew and Miss Tay, who were the DMs. We were graduating and slacking in class with no teachers around. I had an issue with one of their friends so some of the girls came into class and asked me to talk in the canteen.
Gracinia, also a bballer but my classmate of 4 years, was there, and she sat with me and the girls and she told me to ignore them while we ate. Man, I still kinda remember what happened and it was hilarious. I will be lying if I say I wasn't nervous, but I almost burst out laughing when the girl threatened to slam the table at me or something.
Hello, school canteen? Principal/HOD office 30seconds walk away? Besides, another thing was in the rage - God brothers/sisters. I swear, I had umm, 4 younger god-sis, 3 younger god-bros, and 1 elder god-bro back then. Only 3 was approached by me and the others came to be asking to be their god-sis.
The only elder one happened to be the "zhong", um, head school bully? Lol *laughs out terribly loud* A prefect, mixing with the Normal Tech Ah bengs.. *Shrugs*
When our DM came to chase us away, I just told the girl, "Anything just talk to Bui Zheng, he will settle for me." I should have sprouted that 30mins ago and it would save me the trouble. They left me alone after that.
Only that Fanny girl whom I got into a quarrel with still stared at me with her eyes bugged out of her sockets(trying to intimidate me with her stare, I believe) and crossing her arms on her uber thin frame. Hilarious, I tell you, absolutely bleeding hilarious.
I simply didn't get it back then. Siang Nguan will look at me sometimes with an air of indifference like we aren't classmates of 4 years, Marie will blow hot and cold on me; chatting and taking neoprints 1 moment, shooting insults in my face the next time. I won't forget the Sec 3 School Camp where she and her friends went around stealing girls' bras but returning them later. Mine never got returned.
I think the Sports Day of '99 when Grace and Weiling came to me and ask me to be their god-sis when Marie wanted Weiling to be her god-sis but got rejected, spurred her hostility to me.
There was also the other time some of us were at the arcade in Yishun 10 and a guy came up to me wanting to know me. I didn't hear what he was saying and I shake my head in instinct response. He then changed his target to Marie. I don't remember how I got his number in the end, but Marie was screaming cold murder at me for snatching the guy from him. Tee hee hee! Cute.
So many things happened in my secondary school life, I can spend a whole day typing up the memorable events. What I mentioned above may sound childish and of no importance to most of you, but they bring more than a chuckle to me.
Jennifer - (also known as xiao Jennifer because of her petite size even tho she's older.) Yes Jennifer, I missed ya. I missed the times we hang out at your house or at Jurong, and the times we used to hang out together when you 1st retained to my class year until the other girls grabbed you away *grins* We were kinda like the Ah Lians in the top class *grins wider* The 2 Jennifers. Rofl!
Zi Hui, Shu Ting, Qiu Ling and Hui Ru - You girls were great! Even tho I hung out with the other group most of the time, you girls were friendly and willing to accept me into your group when I quarrelled with Ling Yan. I was so touched. Qiu Ling was friendly, Zi Hui was understanding, Shu Ting was cute and Hui Ru was quiet but my friend since Pri. Sch. Love you girls =)
Ling Yan - What can I say? You are my best friend. You still are, even tho we've lost contact recently. Got to know the rest of the group from you and I never regretted it. You are the only friend I ever quarrelled with, and that speaks volume. You cry with me when I'm deeply upset and often sleeps over to accompany me. We hung out constantly and were so close together.
Lin Mo - My pesky and towering China classmate from hell; He was my "mama" and Wei Sheng my "papa". Lol. We were always competitive in Chinese class because I was the top student in class before he came along, and the only subject I truly win him in was English. He's a genius. We love to torture each other with words back when we sat beside each other. He even let me copy homework from him! Lol~
My "Pillars": When my schoolwork started to deteriorate, I was ordered to sit in the front left corner of the classroom instead of my original backrow, corner seat beside the window.(*grins wildly* Best seat, I know.) I had 3 pillars around me and I wasn't sure if it was intentional. Lim Li Ping, Sec 1 Top Student sat beside me. Seow Hua Ming, Sec 2 Top Student, sat behind her. Chen Wei Sheng, Sec 3 Top Student sat behind me. LOL! Li Ping was actually a very quiet and demure girl who never looked down at me(cos hello, top class. There will always be snobs) because I was the odd one out who loves more fun than studying. We were often caught chitter-chatting and Miss Ng will blame me. She is also the only pillar that lets me copy homework sometimes. LOL! I simply adored her and Zhi Yang who was another one didn't judge me and was freakingly smart too. Both were my classmates since Sec 1. I loved my pillars. They are really cool, smart people.
I was bouncing on the bed listening to my songs when I decided to flip thru my secondary school project photo album for English class.
Looked at the class photos through out the years and I couldn't help grinning. In Sec 1-2, my main group of friends were Mandy, Kasthuri, and Kaithri. Surprisingly, we stood near each other in the photos because of the closeness of height. In Sec 3 and 4, I was best mates with Ling Yan, and within the class itself, I hung out with Yiwen, Qiu Ling, Zi Hui and Shu Ting. By coincidence, we would always stand beside each other without doing it purposely.
I used to hang out with Si Nee, Yi Wen, Li Ting and Ling Yan during recess time and when school finishes we would go to Sun Plaza/North Point frequently(we were practically joined at the hips and almost close enough to be called sisters), but I mixed more with guys in NPCC and when I'm out. Funny huh?
The memories I'd accumulated thru-out the 4 years are indelible. So much have changed.
I wish I remained the same size as I was 12-13 years old. Simply perfect. Tons of memories flew through my mind when I flipped through the photographs, and I realised why I wasn't that popular.
I was too affable and friendly that some people think I'm flirty when I simply wanted more friends; My chest had been the centre of topic in the 4 years and I was known to the Upper Sec. students by the time I got to Sec 2. The more garrulous girls gave me nicknames like "BBW"(Big breast woman *rolls eyes*), which was rumoured to be started my Sec 1-2 classmate, B**Yi. *Shrugs*
Well I mean, we were all around 14 years old and name-calling was in the "rage". My best friend in lower sec, Kaithri was called Wild Boar, so I usually turn a blind eye and got used to it. Until the guy I crushed on for 2 years, Zhi Qi, called me the name, that is.
But hey! At least I got him to flirt with me during Sec 2 even tho I fell down splat in front of him and Weilong etc in Sec 1.
I wish I could go back in time and change things. I mean, hello, I may be defiant and lazy at times, but I don't come by as a prefect and stay in the top class for nothing! Some of my guy classmates/NPCC squadmates look upon me as a bimbo just because I have bigger breasts than the other girls.
I wish I wasn't so friendly and such a pushover when it comes to friendship. I mean, some thought of me as an Ah Lian, which I guess I was, since I always mixed with my guy friends and I never stood down to threats. I shouldn't have bothered about the insincere people.
I only had 1 "problem" occuring in school tho. Naval Base is, or rather was, well-known for the "Ah Lians and Ah Bengs" so beside the geeks and nerds, most of the students were bullied or got "jio-meng" before. I thought I was going to graduate unscathed by apparently, not.
The Sec 5 basketball girls back then were notorious because they were doted on by Mr Chew and Miss Tay, who were the DMs. We were graduating and slacking in class with no teachers around. I had an issue with one of their friends so some of the girls came into class and asked me to talk in the canteen.
Gracinia, also a bballer but my classmate of 4 years, was there, and she sat with me and the girls and she told me to ignore them while we ate. Man, I still kinda remember what happened and it was hilarious. I will be lying if I say I wasn't nervous, but I almost burst out laughing when the girl threatened to slam the table at me or something.
Hello, school canteen? Principal/HOD office 30seconds walk away? Besides, another thing was in the rage - God brothers/sisters. I swear, I had umm, 4 younger god-sis, 3 younger god-bros, and 1 elder god-bro back then. Only 3 was approached by me and the others came to be asking to be their god-sis.
The only elder one happened to be the "zhong", um, head school bully? Lol *laughs out terribly loud* A prefect, mixing with the Normal Tech Ah bengs.. *Shrugs*
When our DM came to chase us away, I just told the girl, "Anything just talk to Bui Zheng, he will settle for me." I should have sprouted that 30mins ago and it would save me the trouble. They left me alone after that.
Only that Fanny girl whom I got into a quarrel with still stared at me with her eyes bugged out of her sockets(trying to intimidate me with her stare, I believe) and crossing her arms on her uber thin frame. Hilarious, I tell you, absolutely bleeding hilarious.
I simply didn't get it back then. Siang Nguan will look at me sometimes with an air of indifference like we aren't classmates of 4 years, Marie will blow hot and cold on me; chatting and taking neoprints 1 moment, shooting insults in my face the next time. I won't forget the Sec 3 School Camp where she and her friends went around stealing girls' bras but returning them later. Mine never got returned.
I think the Sports Day of '99 when Grace and Weiling came to me and ask me to be their god-sis when Marie wanted Weiling to be her god-sis but got rejected, spurred her hostility to me.
There was also the other time some of us were at the arcade in Yishun 10 and a guy came up to me wanting to know me. I didn't hear what he was saying and I shake my head in instinct response. He then changed his target to Marie. I don't remember how I got his number in the end, but Marie was screaming cold murder at me for snatching the guy from him. Tee hee hee! Cute.
So many things happened in my secondary school life, I can spend a whole day typing up the memorable events. What I mentioned above may sound childish and of no importance to most of you, but they bring more than a chuckle to me.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Woo hoo!!!
Bottles of soda in the fridge, fried chicken wings and curry chicken on the dinner table, roasted chicken and duck drumsticks and fried rice on my plate, Mum chopping up the suckling pig and other roasted meats in the kitchen, everlasting tidbits in the cabinets.
What else can I ask for?
*BURP*
What else can I ask for?
*BURP*
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Happy belated 40th birthday Singapore! =X
Heh, can't believe I'd forgotten to wish dear ole Singapore happy birthday! It was also Mel's sister's 12th birthday, so I went for Germaine's birthday celebration with them at the Thai Village restaurant(yum, sharkfins and abalones) near the stadium, and watched the fireworks.
Watched the parade on TV for only like 5 minutes, but it was enough for me to smirk at the clumsiness of the St. Johns' marching and hentak kaki, and gloat at the SPF and NPCC cadets' smart unity and timing to my boyfriend.
'M not sure if it's the angle, but the last time I saw the National Day fireworks upclose, it was much more impressive. The first minute or two was a little disappointing, but hell, I love the finale. Saw it when we were driving out from the parking lot and the view wasn't obstructed.
Took a fairly interesting photo of an Ah Pek in a cab but *gasps* I can't find my digicam's cable! *shrugs* Oh well I think it should still be somewhere in my room.
Anyway, *beams in pride* I killed an adult cockroach earlier on! As some of you guys already know, I have a phobia for all bugs and even ants if their size are rather big. Cockroaches are probably my nemesis but I still manage to kill some every now and then.
I didn't even panick when I saw it flash past me on the table in my peripheral vision. Fine, maybe I was too shocked that I froze for a sec.
Still, after 5 minutes of hide and seek and my Shieldtox in hand, it was game over for one of the longest living creatures on earth. *Smug grin*
Okay, enough of my stupid cockroach endeavour. Time for me to eat my popcorn and watch some of the VCDs I bought. *Thinks wistfully* You know, popping popcorn with normal microwave (not those machines at the cinemas, that's cheating!) has almost become a lost art. You either burnt most of them or have alot of unpopped ones left.
My advice is set the timer at 4.15 mins max. Don't risk it. Stand by the microwave because sometimes a 5 secs difference will disappoint you. And you can always scoop the kernels back into the bag to re-pop. =P
Casablanca, here I come!
Watched the parade on TV for only like 5 minutes, but it was enough for me to smirk at the clumsiness of the St. Johns' marching and hentak kaki, and gloat at the SPF and NPCC cadets' smart unity and timing to my boyfriend.
'M not sure if it's the angle, but the last time I saw the National Day fireworks upclose, it was much more impressive. The first minute or two was a little disappointing, but hell, I love the finale. Saw it when we were driving out from the parking lot and the view wasn't obstructed.
Took a fairly interesting photo of an Ah Pek in a cab but *gasps* I can't find my digicam's cable! *shrugs* Oh well I think it should still be somewhere in my room.
Anyway, *beams in pride* I killed an adult cockroach earlier on! As some of you guys already know, I have a phobia for all bugs and even ants if their size are rather big. Cockroaches are probably my nemesis but I still manage to kill some every now and then.
I didn't even panick when I saw it flash past me on the table in my peripheral vision. Fine, maybe I was too shocked that I froze for a sec.
Still, after 5 minutes of hide and seek and my Shieldtox in hand, it was game over for one of the longest living creatures on earth. *Smug grin*
Okay, enough of my stupid cockroach endeavour. Time for me to eat my popcorn and watch some of the VCDs I bought. *Thinks wistfully* You know, popping popcorn with normal microwave (not those machines at the cinemas, that's cheating!) has almost become a lost art. You either burnt most of them or have alot of unpopped ones left.
My advice is set the timer at 4.15 mins max. Don't risk it. Stand by the microwave because sometimes a 5 secs difference will disappoint you. And you can always scoop the kernels back into the bag to re-pop. =P
Casablanca, here I come!
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