I'd heard about what Mel's mum said to my mum last week, over the phone.
None pleasant, no respect for my mother when she spoke like that. Made me disrespect her all the bit more, but I guess I have her to thank for letting me have a bloody revelation.
No, wait, why the hell should I thank her? Ha. I rather thank my god-bro who rushed over right after hearing me cry over the phone, and the talk between my mum, him and I.
I'm gonna go for a morning run later or tomorrow morning, go scanning for a job in areas nearby, dye my hair with that dark copper red blond hairdye I bought a while back, and perm my hair somewhere next month.
A fresh start.
I know it's a ungodly hour to have such thoughts hit me, but damn, it feels good.
I've finally felt good about myself in what seems like years. A sodding light in my tunnel of darkness.
I'm no bloody saint; ain't gonna quit my smoking or drinking anytime soon, but DAMN,
I feel good!
Damn all those who discriminates me. Even if I deserve every criticism from your god-damned mouths, for being a fat, useless wastrel or whatsoever,
you can stick it back up yours.
I'm gonna do things how I like it, slow and easy. It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
I do what I want when I want.
To borrow and edit a quote from William Ernest Henley,
"I am the bloody master of my fate: I am the freaking captain of my soul."
Sod off.
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