Boring Day~

yawn* I've been feeling nostalgic these few days.. I thought I've sorta recovered from that, but it struck me again >_> idk why. Done nothing much today actually.. Just went to IMM and Jurong Point to look around and buy food =d and I got myself a new keyboard.. Its pretty cool, my fav colour, but most importantly my old keyboard is CRAP. Its only 30 bucks atm, so I'm glad I got it.

Not bad, aye?

Anyway, my bday's in hmm, exactly 2 days :O Damn, I'm not even sure if I wanna celebrate it at Chinablack.
1) I don't have enough cash.. I have like $200+ atm but I'll need some for my hair that day. And a bottle of Martell there costs a BOMB.
2) Haveta go queue up early to get seats.. Troublesome!
3) Gets too squeezy sometimes. Not gonna be good if we end up not getting seats, or I end up getting drunk.
4) Well.. Idk. I'm just really hesitant and indecisive. Typical Libran *roll eyes*

We'll see how it goes =\ I'll be getting some pics taken that night, but on a regular camera tho, mum's holidaying in Taiwan and she told me she'll get my digicam somewhere along Nov, as a post-bday, pre-Christmas present. Like she ever gave me Christmas present before -_-. Oh well.

Anyway, moving on to other subjects, I was really debating with myself whether I should just splat all my private stuff on the blog... 'Cos frankly, I don't update my journal much now, thought it'll be nice if I keep all my thoughts in the blog, but then, I might end up having hundreds of people probing into my life.

Oh hell, whatever. I'll just spill most of my guts. Most.

I had a chat with one of my ex over MSN just now.. it was rather the 1st time we chat (I think) after I added him in my list. We chatted usual stuff, I lamed, he kinda lamed, and it got kinda awkward to me, at 1 point of time. I got reminded of the past... Its not vaguely refreshing in his mind, I bet he'd forgotten most stuff, but having a typical girl's memory, I still do. Made me wondered about some stuff, but I never actually ventured further thoughts.

Sigh. My mind's pretty fucked up recently.. Things happened which I can't explain. I'm confused... Very confused about lots of stuff, emotional ones mainly. I hate myself for behaving like that, I mean hey, I DO have a guy, we've been together for like what, 2yrs+? He isn't exactly the best of his kind, but it'll do, and I ought to be happy with him. I want to... but somehow, its not working very well.

Do I really love my guy that much? Or is it just the habit of being with him, having him in my life all the time? I don't know... I really don't. I know he's gonna read it one day, in fact soon. He's rather possessive sometimes... It will be BAD BAD BADx1000000 news if he ever read this, but its honestly what bothers me. I'm actually hoping SOMEbody will slap some sense into me so I'll know what I really want.