Monday, September 15, 2008

Missing you.

Author's note: I looked at the contrast of emotions between my latest 2 posts and all I could do was laugh bitterly while tears flooded my vision. I have a more detailed version of this post saved up for my eyes only, but this is what I am going to publish for public eyes...


A message I would never send to him:


Hey D.,

Never thought it'll hurt so bad to think about the fact that I'll prolly never get to meet you again, or even if/when one day I do get to go to LA, you probably would have forgotten about me.

I never got to tell you that I have a great interest in guitars too, because I was worried you'll tease me about it, or think that's the only reason why...

I saw you talking to Ying at the Drum Fest on Saturday and I waited impatiently for the introduction that never came.
I was esctatic when you finally introduced yourself to me at the Arena.
I looked at your guitar and secretly smiled.
I looked at your videos and I ask myself why I did not insist on seeing you for the one last night.
I would never forget your patented killer grin, especially the one you flashed for me the moment I put your french beret on your head.
I miss warming up your cold hands for you.
I miss your hazel green eyes that would turn grey and blue.
I miss the way you smell.
I love your look of concentration, no matter if it's when you're playing your guitar or otherwise.
I love how good it felt when you hugged me. You might be tall and lanky, but somehow... We fit.
I looked at your number in my handphone and I struggled not to text you. You're still on your flight back, after all.


Yeah, it's been fun for the 17 hours we've spent together cutie, and the few phone calls here and there, but damn if it isn't killing me now. I honestly didnt think it'll hurt so bad.



Your music unbelievable.
Your words unforgettable.

Your smile imprinted on my mind,
I'll gladly give up all that's mine.

Your touch engraved upon my skin,
Pricking at me like a pin.

Paths crossed, time lapsed -

Heart lost, gut wrenched.
Your presence had stained my soul...
I only wish you were here to fill this hole.




Ab imo pectore,
Jennifer

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