To: Melvin.

When will my moment of epiphany come to me?

You have just requested for a 3months seperation. I know its just your subtle way of breaking up with me while not devastating me immediately. Making me grasp desperately onto the hope that you will return to me somehow. But I know differently when you told me to look for another guy.

I tried to be bitter, tried to laugh at myself and say, Game Over JenxGeR, you've been pwned. Ah... The irony. I also tried to blame you and make myself feel better, but I gave up midway, as all I feel is this aching numbness.

I have a sinking feeling that the longer we seperate, the happier you'll be with your life. I'm afraid might be our final break-up. The it. The... end. The end of the life we've shared together.

But I have to acquiescence, because I know I've begged too many times for a second chance. We've simply tore at each other's hearts too many times.

I know I must respect you decision and understand that you're hurting and tired too, that I should just wait patiently and see if you would return... But the pain... I can't stand it. It's tearing me apart. You were the only one in my life to ever show me some sort of support. Who gave me the strength to carry on.

I never truely understood the true meaning of being lost and alone, until now.

One minute into the seperation, and I was lost. Someone please tell me what to do. I don't know anymore.

God, save me, please. I really don't know what to do anymore... But I know this...


I've seen the best and worst of you, and I know this with perfect clarity - I love you. I might always love you. I don't know if you see that as a burden or appreciate it, but if we never get back together again, please know that you will always hold a special place in my heart, as the man I've come to love the most, the hardest, and the deepest in my entire life.

Will you sleep at night and miss my presence beside you on the bed? Will you look at my toothbrush beside yours and think about me? Would you miss the talks we have before we sleep? Would you miss our good times spent together?

I will always remember your naturally pouty little lips, cute guilty smiles when I catch you trying to spin a white lie, the infuriating yet endearing manner whenever you're so clueless to what I'm feeling.

I will miss the way you startle awake whenever I nudge you, the way your warm skin feels whenever I hug you, the security I feel when I'm in your arms, the tender times when you bring my hand up to your lips and kiss it, and the way you always sigh in mock exasperation when I constantly ask you if you love me, followed up by a how muchie.

I will remember everything. You know how good a memory I have :)

For what its worth, I'm sorry.

Thank you, Melvin Lim Jie Ying, for the most colourful 3 1/2 years of my life, filled with laughters, anger, happiness, sadness, joy, pain, sweet memories, and love.

I love you.


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I'm finding my way back to sanity again,
Though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there.
Take a breath and hold on tight,
Spin around one more time,
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace.

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and,
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright,
Alright with me.
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing,
Is where I want to be.
Yeah.
Where I want to be.

I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm,
Trying to identify the voices in my head.
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel alive,
And break these calluses off of me,
One more time.

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and,
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright,
Alright with me.
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside your door and listen to you breathing,
Is where I want to be.
Yeah.

I don't want a thing from you.
Bet you're tired of me waiting for the scraps to fall off your table to the ground.

'Cause I just want to be here now.

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and,
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright,
Alright with me.
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing,
Is where I want to be.
Yeah.

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say and,
Even if you don't want to speak tonight that's alright,
Alright with me.
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing,
Is where I want to be.
Yeah.
Where I want to be.
Where I want to be....

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