And to think - The journal begun on 3rd January 2003. Guess I was really moving on after 8 years of keeping journals.
I read through the book, and was grateful for the way I matured; No more 'lahz', 'liaox', 'siao bo' and the multitudes of hokkien slangs dotted into my entries as the years went on. And my grammar! Brrr. I would have been thrown into jail with life sentence if the grammar police had came a-knocking.
Not to mention, Melvin dominated my EVERY entry... Sigh. I'm just glad that painful chapter of my life had came to a close, though honestly, ghosts of the past still come to haunt me in my dreams ever so often.
Yes... Though he's no longer haunting my thoughts, my brains decided to play pranks on me by making me dream of us patching up and getting back together, though the dreams would not be perfect; His 'assholeiness' will shine through in every episode.
I have NO idea why that happens; Melvin barely appears in my thoughts nowadays, what with me having my own distractions *cough*. I mean, yes, I guess I still love him, if but just a little. I suppose my heart will always have a tender spot for Mel, but I'm no longer in love with him anymore. I don't think I ever will. I mean, there's only so much crap you can take from a guy and his family, right?
Maybe its because of how lonely I've been feeling, and my subconscious is trying to let me fall back on past memories of when I at least had someone by my side. I'm just glad the dreams are mostly just a monthly occurrence, and that my journal ended with something that was NOT about him for once.
03/11/06
12.37am
Flitting through the night,
I dance to unheard music.
Envy me not; I cavort alone with my shadows.
Bedlam, distraught.
The noises in my head are causing an uproar.
Don't give me songs; Give me something to sing about.
Jennifer
12.50am
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