Mmm... Something's up. I've been given practically no work ever since last Monday, except the occasional small errands to check things out.
Basically, I've been sending out an average of 4 emails per day, 2 of which just are to my executive to enquire on some stuff. I send out a courier package every other day, and idly peruse the stationery inventory sporadically.
Other than that, I blog, I surf, I read fanfics online, I listen to my mp3s on the PC. Too bad that I'm working in a bank; If I have Facebook, I would say my entertainment is completed.
And I collect a $2k+ salary for doing just that. Envy? :P
Admittedly though, I don't really like this situation. My superiors ought to know there's nothing much I have to do recently. Even though our culture is that they don't fire people unless we've done something that is against the Company's policy, I can't help but worry over my probation.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Detox Programme - 1 week mark.
Yea baby yea... This is my 7th day of detox :) Exactly 7 more days to go!
I'm able to feel a change in me already; More spry, more healthy, and I've lost some weight (Unless my form-fitting top has loosen).
I'm a tad disappointed in my weight loss progress, but those who have went through the programme told me that the results usually are more obvious during the 2nd week of detox... So I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
Tonight, I'm gonna pamper myself to a night at Clarke Quay. I'll be drinkless and dead sober, yes. But at least I know I'm strong enough to abstain and resist temptation.
Have a good weekend, people!
I'm able to feel a change in me already; More spry, more healthy, and I've lost some weight (Unless my form-fitting top has loosen).
I'm a tad disappointed in my weight loss progress, but those who have went through the programme told me that the results usually are more obvious during the 2nd week of detox... So I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
Tonight, I'm gonna pamper myself to a night at Clarke Quay. I'll be drinkless and dead sober, yes. But at least I know I'm strong enough to abstain and resist temptation.
Have a good weekend, people!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Detox
It's already my 5th day of detox... The pessimist in me would say that there's 9 more days to go, but I am still proud to say I've made it this far.
I'm feeling quite horribly nauseous now, as the detox will trigger past ailments and try to heal them, so when they do, you'll have to bear with some painful symptoms. I had my backache and peekaboo kidney pains, a couple of days ago.
Well at least, I'm delighted that my skin condition seemed to have vastly improved all on its own, bowel movements are much more smooth, and I do think I've slimmed down a lil.
I'm just 1/3 done with my detox, so who's to say the pros won't double its effects, or even triple? Moreover, I want to show it some people that I CAN DO IT.
Please gimme some verbal or mental support... I reckon I need it desperately much :D
I'm feeling quite horribly nauseous now, as the detox will trigger past ailments and try to heal them, so when they do, you'll have to bear with some painful symptoms. I had my backache and peekaboo kidney pains, a couple of days ago.
Well at least, I'm delighted that my skin condition seemed to have vastly improved all on its own, bowel movements are much more smooth, and I do think I've slimmed down a lil.
I'm just 1/3 done with my detox, so who's to say the pros won't double its effects, or even triple? Moreover, I want to show it some people that I CAN DO IT.
Please gimme some verbal or mental support... I reckon I need it desperately much :D
Friday, June 20, 2008
Sparks...
Just something that came into mind when I was chatting with Jasmine.
Sparks... Not just the place we first met in *grins*, it was also there in our 5 years together.
When I said sparks, I didn't mean it simply being the sparks flying and the intense chemistry, but also sparks that could ignite gunpowder.
Anger and passion, that we had plenty, no matter how deluded your memory of our relationship is now.
I remember very well...
We did love each other terribly much, even though you now say that you apparently never stopped loving her.
I looked so different 5 1/2 years ago *grins*.
No worries, I'm reminiscing about our times together as a memory, is all. I would never give up what I've experienced in the past 10 months. =)
Sparks... Not just the place we first met in *grins*, it was also there in our 5 years together.
When I said sparks, I didn't mean it simply being the sparks flying and the intense chemistry, but also sparks that could ignite gunpowder.
Anger and passion, that we had plenty, no matter how deluded your memory of our relationship is now.
I remember very well...
We did love each other terribly much, even though you now say that you apparently never stopped loving her.
I looked so different 5 1/2 years ago *grins*.
No worries, I'm reminiscing about our times together as a memory, is all. I would never give up what I've experienced in the past 10 months. =)
Major rant on customer service.
Okay, allow me to do some major ranting in this post. You are forewarned that there will be vulgarities that may hurt your bloody fucking sensitivities, so don't read on if you don't want your eyes to be further abused.
What is the matter with our customer service nowadays? Being from a background where I've been in the customer service industry since my first job, I was fucking annoyed and pissed off within the span of 2 weeks by 2 different companies.
First off, when I was trying to search for a muthafucking service apartment for one of the heads and when I've finally found 1 that suited his fucking requirements, I called valuefuckingstay.com.sg only for their "customer service" lady Catherine and apartment viewing guy Kelvin, talk to me as if I'm an insignificant snit that was not worthy of their time. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE THE ONE TALKING CORDIALLY WHILE YOU HUFF AND PUFF IMPATIENTLY!
THEN, our company's stationery supplier, Kumpukamlan, mistook my order of 1 box, to 1 large box computing to 12x of what I ordered.
So I called them up to enquire, and I told him that I'll be mainly taking care of our inventory now, and I've made an order for 1 box before, and I HAD received 1 single box as ordered. And do you know what he told me?
"I don't know about you arh, but as per State Street side the instructions hor, they don't order 1 pathetic box, they will usually 1 big box consisting of 12. Not 1 pathetic box."
FUCK YOU! My orders very pathetic, HAR? I bloody called you stating I am Jennifer calling from State Street, what the fuck do you mean as per State Street's instructions? CHEEBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
ARGH. Those sodding gits can kiss my arse. Fucking pissed off.
What is the matter with our customer service nowadays? Being from a background where I've been in the customer service industry since my first job, I was fucking annoyed and pissed off within the span of 2 weeks by 2 different companies.
First off, when I was trying to search for a muthafucking service apartment for one of the heads and when I've finally found 1 that suited his fucking requirements, I called valuefuckingstay.com.sg only for their "customer service" lady Catherine and apartment viewing guy Kelvin, talk to me as if I'm an insignificant snit that was not worthy of their time. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE THE ONE TALKING CORDIALLY WHILE YOU HUFF AND PUFF IMPATIENTLY!
THEN, our company's stationery supplier, Kumpukamlan, mistook my order of 1 box, to 1 large box computing to 12x of what I ordered.
So I called them up to enquire, and I told him that I'll be mainly taking care of our inventory now, and I've made an order for 1 box before, and I HAD received 1 single box as ordered. And do you know what he told me?
"I don't know about you arh, but as per State Street side the instructions hor, they don't order 1 pathetic box, they will usually 1 big box consisting of 12. Not 1 pathetic box."
FUCK YOU! My orders very pathetic, HAR? I bloody called you stating I am Jennifer calling from State Street, what the fuck do you mean as per State Street's instructions? CHEEBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
ARGH. Those sodding gits can kiss my arse. Fucking pissed off.
14 days Detox
Further testament that I might start blogging regularly again, is this update. Heh.
Well anyway, it's only a short note, barely enough to suffice as a real post, but I just wanna declare that I'm finally going to start my detox programme w.e.f. 21st June 2008!
I think the first time I'd said I wanted to do it, was before CNY... Now that is long ago. Glad I've came up to scratch now, but God's Teeth, I need strong will to resist the temptation of cigarettes, snackings, and my favourite drinks(of both the alcoholic and non-alcoholic kind).
Tonight's my last night of 'freedom' before I go into a 'peaceful seclusion'(I will not be clubbing, simply put) for 2 weeks, and resurface a brand new me.
People of the world, beware!
Well anyway, it's only a short note, barely enough to suffice as a real post, but I just wanna declare that I'm finally going to start my detox programme w.e.f. 21st June 2008!
I think the first time I'd said I wanted to do it, was before CNY... Now that is long ago. Glad I've came up to scratch now, but God's Teeth, I need strong will to resist the temptation of cigarettes, snackings, and my favourite drinks(of both the alcoholic and non-alcoholic kind).
Tonight's my last night of 'freedom' before I go into a 'peaceful seclusion'(I will not be clubbing, simply put) for 2 weeks, and resurface a brand new me.
People of the world, beware!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Awakenings.
Author's sidenotes: Yes, I've finally changed the layout to a much simpler, bugfree one. Hooray!
*Touches keyboard awkwardly* Well ok, it's not as if I don't touch it every single day at work, but to blog? *Shakes head* Can't say I'm used to it anymore. I'm a lil... afraid.
These months past, I've gotten used to bottling my emotions inside me once again, that when they threaten to spill over, I usually direct them to an, more often than not, unhealthy outlet.
So yeah, even though the words now come easily to me as if I've never stopped blogging, I'm afraid. Petrified even, that my emotions might betray me, make me feel exposed, vulnerable.
I'd prefer to do without that particular piece of emotion.
What drove me to writing in particular today, was the foolishness of Man. How is it that God created Man who generally (not all, per se; I meant generally) only cherish what they've lost and can't have?
When it all boils down to a choice between what they've lost and what they can't have, Man, whose curiosity are piqued, will be more desirous of what they can't have; a toy that slipped past their fingers and noticed again when dangled infront of them.
And why is it that the sands of Time tend to lend a fairytale-like touch to a faded, distant memory?
I guess there's definitely two sides of a coin to mull over.
Through a series of events in my momentus life, I'd learnt to never take affairs of the heart for granted anymore.
Yet, albeit having tasted the sweetest drop of ambrosia that only Love can provide, I'd also ridden the dark unrelenting storm of depression and anguish.
I barely lived to tell the tale; My battle armour torn and tattered, damages irreparable.
Those experiences were what made me a coward who plead for Love to favour me with another opportunity at its ambrosia, but also afraid to fight for it.
In the past, I would step into Love's battlefield with my sword drawn from its sheath, the moment wedging a warcry out of me, but now, once the enemies appear, I would thrust my sword into the sand and get knocked down to my knees.
Past wounds and battle scars have affected me too greatly to revive the fervour I used to possess, yet the allure of charging back into the battlefield in search of that... something, is undeniable.
Yes, you could say I've at least ventured a try, but did that make me any different from the unappreciative Man I've described above?
No... We're all just fools for love. I'm still searching for that something to light up my path.
"…The heavens, as troubled with man’s act, Threatens his bloody stage: by the clock ‘t is day, And yet dark night strangles the travelling lamp. Is ‘t night’s predominance, or the day’s shame, That darkness does the face of earth entomb, When living light should kiss it?"
P.S: By the way, to the person who requested me to change my MSN tagline if it was on him, to which I had to lie partially through my teeth(it was about him and also another man) to say it wasn't, here's this: I AM a better woman without you! :D
*Touches keyboard awkwardly* Well ok, it's not as if I don't touch it every single day at work, but to blog? *Shakes head* Can't say I'm used to it anymore. I'm a lil... afraid.
These months past, I've gotten used to bottling my emotions inside me once again, that when they threaten to spill over, I usually direct them to an, more often than not, unhealthy outlet.
So yeah, even though the words now come easily to me as if I've never stopped blogging, I'm afraid. Petrified even, that my emotions might betray me, make me feel exposed, vulnerable.
I'd prefer to do without that particular piece of emotion.
What drove me to writing in particular today, was the foolishness of Man. How is it that God created Man who generally (not all, per se; I meant generally) only cherish what they've lost and can't have?
When it all boils down to a choice between what they've lost and what they can't have, Man, whose curiosity are piqued, will be more desirous of what they can't have; a toy that slipped past their fingers and noticed again when dangled infront of them.
And why is it that the sands of Time tend to lend a fairytale-like touch to a faded, distant memory?
I guess there's definitely two sides of a coin to mull over.
Through a series of events in my momentus life, I'd learnt to never take affairs of the heart for granted anymore.
Yet, albeit having tasted the sweetest drop of ambrosia that only Love can provide, I'd also ridden the dark unrelenting storm of depression and anguish.
I barely lived to tell the tale; My battle armour torn and tattered, damages irreparable.
Those experiences were what made me a coward who plead for Love to favour me with another opportunity at its ambrosia, but also afraid to fight for it.
In the past, I would step into Love's battlefield with my sword drawn from its sheath, the moment wedging a warcry out of me, but now, once the enemies appear, I would thrust my sword into the sand and get knocked down to my knees.
Past wounds and battle scars have affected me too greatly to revive the fervour I used to possess, yet the allure of charging back into the battlefield in search of that... something, is undeniable.
Yes, you could say I've at least ventured a try, but did that make me any different from the unappreciative Man I've described above?
No... We're all just fools for love. I'm still searching for that something to light up my path.
"…The heavens, as troubled with man’s act, Threatens his bloody stage: by the clock ‘t is day, And yet dark night strangles the travelling lamp. Is ‘t night’s predominance, or the day’s shame, That darkness does the face of earth entomb, When living light should kiss it?"
P.S: By the way, to the person who requested me to change my MSN tagline if it was on him, to which I had to lie partially through my teeth(it was about him and also another man) to say it wasn't, here's this: I AM a better woman without you! :D
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wow.
Is Jen back in the blogging circle?
Idk. The idiosyncrasies of my life seem so shallow and frivolous to blog about, yet so much has happened ever since my last official post in Nov/Dec that it has shaped my life differently all over again.
I just feel like I'm slowly stripped of my identity and I'm not sure if I'm fit to write about myself when I have no idea what I've become.
Idk. The idiosyncrasies of my life seem so shallow and frivolous to blog about, yet so much has happened ever since my last official post in Nov/Dec that it has shaped my life differently all over again.
I just feel like I'm slowly stripped of my identity and I'm not sure if I'm fit to write about myself when I have no idea what I've become.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Sunday, November 18, 2007
A reminder for myself.
Well, I don't think I will forget this, but just in case, I must post this to remind myself of the most exhilariating 1 1/2 hours I've had in the past few months... Yesterday morning.. From 5am - 6.30am.
Time went 'whoosh!' but boy, it was HOT. In all sense of the words! I fell in love with the colour blue, all over again... The perfect sky blue that darkens into bits of grey when...
Sigh...
*Drifts off in her little dreamland.*
Friday, November 02, 2007
Release.
I know its a little late for an epiphany, but I've got to say this.
I just had a short chat with, someone; It was just about a 2 minutes chat about shallow stuff.
I found that it didn't bothered me as it should be, when he did not comment on my display nick which said I was at the A&E. When he thought I was misunderstanding his intentions of messaging me the other day, I laughed.
And boy, it was a heartfelt grin... It was like, "Hallelujah! Let there be light!"
My god... Singlehood is DAMN SHIOK CAN! The revelation came 46 days too late, but I'm FREE, I'm really FREE!
我感觉到自由的快感了!
P.S: If you noticed my A&E bit, don't worry my friends. It was just complications from some sorta eye inflammation that caused sight problems, but I'm recovering now. *Hugs and kisses*
I just had a short chat with, someone; It was just about a 2 minutes chat about shallow stuff.
I found that it didn't bothered me as it should be, when he did not comment on my display nick which said I was at the A&E. When he thought I was misunderstanding his intentions of messaging me the other day, I laughed.
And boy, it was a heartfelt grin... It was like, "Hallelujah! Let there be light!"
My god... Singlehood is DAMN SHIOK CAN! The revelation came 46 days too late, but I'm FREE, I'm really FREE!
我感觉到自由的快感了!
P.S: If you noticed my A&E bit, don't worry my friends. It was just complications from some sorta eye inflammation that caused sight problems, but I'm recovering now. *Hugs and kisses*
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Rant.
I would rant about how I lost me mum's digital camera at Clarke Quay last night, thus losing alot of crazy pictures taken over the week, but I have this overwhelming urge to rant about something else.
Met a really cute guy last night with Jessica, when we brought Vicka to Clarke Quay for a tour. Turns out C and his friend J are friends of DJ Tang (Matt) from Kent. I sneaked J in (who was wearing flipflops, shh!) and I was told that C really likes me.
I'd thought so too, since we'd naturally paired up and we had abit of fun dancing and stuff.
And then I had to ask him if he's gay.
You know, to reassure myself because he did look a lil gay though he was being way friendly towards me. The moment he hem and hawed, my heart dropped.
I'm still hoping he's just Bi and not gay, but not that it matters since they are on their way to Australia now, BUT DAMN!
WHY WHY WHY! Why are all the good or cute guys all gay? What, pussies not good enough for them that they have to turn to men? What so good about them penises anyway?
... *Smacks herself* Ok, so maybe they do have a reason to be gay. *Sigh*
Met a really cute guy last night with Jessica, when we brought Vicka to Clarke Quay for a tour. Turns out C and his friend J are friends of DJ Tang (Matt) from Kent. I sneaked J in (who was wearing flipflops, shh!) and I was told that C really likes me.
I'd thought so too, since we'd naturally paired up and we had abit of fun dancing and stuff.
And then I had to ask him if he's gay.
You know, to reassure myself because he did look a lil gay though he was being way friendly towards me. The moment he hem and hawed, my heart dropped.
I'm still hoping he's just Bi and not gay, but not that it matters since they are on their way to Australia now, BUT DAMN!
WHY WHY WHY! Why are all the good or cute guys all gay? What, pussies not good enough for them that they have to turn to men? What so good about them penises anyway?
... *Smacks herself* Ok, so maybe they do have a reason to be gay. *Sigh*
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Lol.
gah says:
slim down, boobies still big?
gah says:
thats the point right?
Slipped my mind I was talking to a guy and not a girl. *Rolls eyes*
slim down, boobies still big?
gah says:
thats the point right?
Slipped my mind I was talking to a guy and not a girl. *Rolls eyes*
Monday, October 22, 2007
Death of a bear in a dress.
Hi!
*Munches*
A typical Monday afternoon...
T-minus 5100. 5100secs, 5109secs, 5108......
*Munches*
A typical Monday afternoon...
T-minus 5100. 5100secs, 5109secs, 5108......
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Love.
What is love?
You'd think love is all romantic words and candle lights, gorgeous roses and death till us part.
Well lemme tell you this - Love is getting dumped on your ass for another woman after he went M.I.A for a week. Love is falling for the wrong person every motherfucking time.
Love is staring into your 6 years old niece's eyes and watches as she realise her family is falling apart, stuttering when she tells you her mum brought her younger sister away. Love is when you feel so cornered and you wished to talk to the only stable rock in your recent years, and he dismissed you with a irritated sigh.
Love is when every fucking member of your immediate family is divorced or divorcing and causing so much pain around. Love is foolishly imagining "happy family times" while looking after his son.
End result? Love is nothing but a waste of time and bloody fucking sham.
You'd think love is all romantic words and candle lights, gorgeous roses and death till us part.
Well lemme tell you this - Love is getting dumped on your ass for another woman after he went M.I.A for a week. Love is falling for the wrong person every motherfucking time.
Love is staring into your 6 years old niece's eyes and watches as she realise her family is falling apart, stuttering when she tells you her mum brought her younger sister away. Love is when you feel so cornered and you wished to talk to the only stable rock in your recent years, and he dismissed you with a irritated sigh.
Love is when every fucking member of your immediate family is divorced or divorcing and causing so much pain around. Love is foolishly imagining "happy family times" while looking after his son.
End result? Love is nothing but a waste of time and bloody fucking sham.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Random note.
5 years of 感情 packed into 6 bags full, which are now scattered all over the room, untouched.
I don't know what to make of it.
I don't know what to make of it.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Ahahaha.
Ahahhahahaha.. Night filled with Lunar club (New iRumours style club, officially opening on 25/09/07) till FashionBar till MOS; nonstop binging!
Like I told the girls... Fucking high baby! Hahahaha. We still have dance practice tomorrow at 2pm till 5, what the fuck! I'm gonna concuss!
Lunar was great anyway. The decor and atmosphere was awesome. Didn't know I would like a pub with chinese live band that much, but I did.
Let's get high again next week. It was fun! *muacks*
Like I told the girls... Fucking high baby! Hahahaha. We still have dance practice tomorrow at 2pm till 5, what the fuck! I'm gonna concuss!
Lunar was great anyway. The decor and atmosphere was awesome. Didn't know I would like a pub with chinese live band that much, but I did.
Let's get high again next week. It was fun! *muacks*
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Damn!
I am watching "The Others" on the lappie, and I'd actually sat through almost 10mins of fireworks display beside my block!
It was the official launch of the AMK Hub... I had a perfect bird's eye view of it upon leaving my flat door but I mistook that din for the lion dance and performance stuff at the Central Stage, also just 100m away from my flat.
8 years of living in AMK Central, you'll learn to sleep past the noises from MRT trains, buses, lion dances, soccer fans on football nights, fights, and rowdy uncles when they're drunk.
I wish I did not miss the fireworks though :( The finale burst into a beautiful array of streaks across the night sky, just when I was taking my handphone out.
It was the official launch of the AMK Hub... I had a perfect bird's eye view of it upon leaving my flat door but I mistook that din for the lion dance and performance stuff at the Central Stage, also just 100m away from my flat.
8 years of living in AMK Central, you'll learn to sleep past the noises from MRT trains, buses, lion dances, soccer fans on football nights, fights, and rowdy uncles when they're drunk.
I wish I did not miss the fireworks though :( The finale burst into a beautiful array of streaks across the night sky, just when I was taking my handphone out.
Friday, September 21, 2007
It was supposed to be a brand new start as from 20/09/07 for me, yet all I've done was throw up twice so far. I can feel the third one building...
Bugger this. It sucks to be me.
Other than the vomiting incident, at least the day so far has been simple, and nice. My mum coddled me like I was still a small child; Tucking me into bed last night, presenting me with a hot drink and a sandwich to pack off for work this morning.
It didn't feel any different from normal days though, just that I no longer have anyone to manja to, and someone that I can call immediately when I feel like sharing something. Someone to love and dote on.
Yes, now I do understand that I deserve better, but only time will assist in making me believe so.
I understand you now. The love's all gone. Not when my presence made you uncomfortable. Not when you're so thoroughly enjoying your life now. Not when the presence of me in the past 5 years has been wiped clean. Not when your mum looked at me like I'm a squished bug that wasn't welcome.
Everything is too late. My love was brutally pulverised and dead now; And any semblance of our relationship is dilapidated.
For awhile, to love was all we could do
We were young and we knew
In our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For awhile, we paid no mind to the past
We knew love would last
Every night, something right
Would invite us to begin the day
Something happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Something happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had
And, oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around ?
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found ?
For awhile, to love each other with all
We would ever need
Love was strong for so long
Never knew that what was
Wrong, oh, baby, wasn’t right
We tried to find what we had
Till sadness was all we shared
We were scared
This affair would lead our love into
Something happened along the way
Yesterday was all we had
Something happened along the way
What used to be happy is sad
Something happened along the way
Yesterday was all we had
And, oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around ?
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found ?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found ?
If I had known the way that this would end,
If I had read the last page first,
If I had had the strength to walk away,
If I had known how this would hurt,
I would've loved you anyway.
I'd do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would've loved you anyway.
It's bittersweet to look back now
At memories withered on the vine.
And just to hold you close to me
For a moment in time.
I would've loved you anyway.
I'd do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would've loved you anyway.
And even if I'd seen it coming,
You'd still have seen me running
Straight into your arms.
I would've loved you anyway.
I'd do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would've loved you anyway.
I would've loved you anyway.
It's only the next day, and I miss you terribly. However, now that I think of it, I'm honestly glad you're happy.
Forgetting is something that time takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition, and only the sufferer is qualified to make the decision.
Bugger this. It sucks to be me.
Other than the vomiting incident, at least the day so far has been simple, and nice. My mum coddled me like I was still a small child; Tucking me into bed last night, presenting me with a hot drink and a sandwich to pack off for work this morning.
It didn't feel any different from normal days though, just that I no longer have anyone to manja to, and someone that I can call immediately when I feel like sharing something. Someone to love and dote on.
But I've finally realised that I don't deserve this anymore...
No matter if sometime down the road we might get back together, or I get into a new relationship, I'm not going to be treated with disrespect anymore.
Yes, now I do understand that I deserve better, but only time will assist in making me believe so.
I understand you now. The love's all gone. Not when my presence made you uncomfortable. Not when you're so thoroughly enjoying your life now. Not when the presence of me in the past 5 years has been wiped clean. Not when your mum looked at me like I'm a squished bug that wasn't welcome.
Everything is too late. My love was brutally pulverised and dead now; And any semblance of our relationship is dilapidated.
For awhile, to love was all we could do
We were young and we knew
In our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For awhile, we paid no mind to the past
We knew love would last
Every night, something right
Would invite us to begin the day
Something happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Something happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had
And, oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around ?
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found ?
For awhile, to love each other with all
We would ever need
Love was strong for so long
Never knew that what was
Wrong, oh, baby, wasn’t right
We tried to find what we had
Till sadness was all we shared
We were scared
This affair would lead our love into
Something happened along the way
Yesterday was all we had
Something happened along the way
What used to be happy is sad
Something happened along the way
Yesterday was all we had
And, oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around ?
Oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found ?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found ?
No more "Bei bei!", no more "Baobei I lub u", no more "Ba~by!", no more "kish kish?", no more tickle wrestlings on the bed before we sleep, no more "抱抱!" requests.
If I had known the way that this would end,
If I had read the last page first,
If I had had the strength to walk away,
If I had known how this would hurt,
I would've loved you anyway.
I'd do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would've loved you anyway.
It's bittersweet to look back now
At memories withered on the vine.
And just to hold you close to me
For a moment in time.
I would've loved you anyway.
I'd do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would've loved you anyway.
And even if I'd seen it coming,
You'd still have seen me running
Straight into your arms.
I would've loved you anyway.
I'd do it all the same,
Not a second I would change,
Not a touch that I would trade.
Had I known my heart would break,
I would've loved you anyway.
I would've loved you anyway.
It's only the next day, and I miss you terribly. However, now that I think of it, I'm honestly glad you're happy.
In a way, I'm relieved too. Our pain has finally come to an end...
Our memories are bittersweet, and I have yet to get over the shock of us being over, I still burst into tears uncontrollably, but I will move on without you.
You don't have to feel responsible for me anymore...
Thanks.
"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive and do not forget." - Thomas Stephen Szasz
I forgive you. Do you forgive me too?
人在成长的过程中，难免遇到挫折。
懂得保护自己，也要懂得爱自己。
生命的乐章，看你自己如何去谱写。
躲避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难受
得到不一定能长久
失去不一定不再有
转身不一定最软弱
别急着说别无选择
别以为世上只有对与错，
许多事情的答案都不止一个，
所以我们永远有路可以走。
你能找到理由难过，
也一定能找到快乐。
懂得放心的人找到轻松
懂得遗忘的人找到自由
懂得关怀的人找到朋友。
Forgetting is something that time takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition, and only the sufferer is qualified to make the decision.
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