Wow.

I went out of Mel's room for a bit, and when I heard hip hop music playing in the computer room, I went to ask Jeremy if he was playing it, but I realised his com wasn't on.

Melvin's mum.was.playing.hip.hop.music.on.her.computer.

WOW @_@.

And that song's pretty cool too. Soddin' hell. Here I am, stuck with his chinese songs because I didn't bring along my hard disk drive, and his MUM is playing great music!

Whatever happened to her chinese karaoke songs?!

Let's just hope we'll be out to dbl-o tonight before I go bug-shagging crazy without listening to my '70s & '80s rock/rock and roll songs by Beatles, Earth, Wind and Fire, Little Richard, Diamond Rio, ACDC... While her mum is currently listening to hiphop.


Okay, I feel old :(

BLEAH.

I'd just woke up half an hour ago and my boyfriend walked in with some suspicious looking tanned meat and asked me to try it.

I chewed on a small bit and realised it taste a little like a Chinese version of beef jerky. Beef jerky, yea ok for me, but Chinese version? Not so much.

"You're eating kangaroo meat."

BLEAH~~~~

Thank gawd I didn't swallow.

I may be an appreciator(?) of fine food, but as far as meat goes, I'll draw the line at alligator/crocodile and deer meat, thanks.

Had a goddamned early night yesterday; slept at 10pm. I haven't slept at that hour even when I was sick! I guess it does a girl good when her beloved laptop isn't around. =P

Bored, bored, bored... Movie? Shopping for clothes? Shopping for figurines? All?

Or slack off and idle around for the weekend, again?

Bleah...

=)

I'm reading Shakespeare's The Tempest nowadays, and I guess tonight my inner poet wants to come out and play.

Here's some of the poems/acts I love. Hope those of you who read my blog will enjoy ;) They're pretty long... So I'll start with one of my absolute favourites, Report of Health by John Updike. It's simply so raw... So passionate.

Enjoy.

I am alone tonight.

The wrong I have done you

sits like a sore beneath my thumb,

burns like a boil on my heart's left side.

I am unwell.

My viscera, long clenched in love if you,

have undergone a detested relaxation.

There is, withing, a ghostly maze

of phantom tubes and nodules where

those citizens, our passions, flit; and here

like sunlight passing from a pattern of streets,

I feel your bright love leaving.

2

Another night. Today I am told,

dear friend, by another,

you seem happy and well.

Nothing could hurt me more.

How dare you be happy, you,

shaped so precisely for me,

my cup and my mirror -

how dare you disdain to betray,

by some disarray of your hair,

my being torn from you?

I would rather believe

that you knew your friend would come to me,

and so seemed well-"not a hair out of place"-

like an actress blindly hurling a pose

into the fascinated darkness.

As for me, you are still the eyes of the air.

I travel from point to point in your presence.

Each unattended gesture hopes to catch your eye.

3

I may not write again. My voice

goes nowhere. Dear friend,

don't let me heal. Don't

worry, I am well.

I am happy

to dwell in a world whose Hell I will:

the doorway hints at your ghost

and a tiger pounces on my heart;

the lilac bush is a devil

inviting me into your hair.

--------------------------------------------------

I by Pablo Neruda

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.

Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.

Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day

I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,

your hands the color of a savage harvest,

hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,

I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,

the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,

I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,

hunting for you, for your hot heart,

like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Strange fits of passion have I known, and I will dare to tell,

But in the lover's ear alone, what once to me befell."

--William Wordsworth

---------------------------------------------------------

On death, by John Keats

Can death be sleep, when life is but a dream,

And scenes of bliss pass as a phantom by?

The transient pleasures as a vision seem,

And yet we think the greatest pain's to die.

How strange it is that man on earth should roam,

And lead a life of woe, but not forsake

His rugged path; nor dare he view alone

His future doom which is but to awake.

---------------------------------------------------------

(Macbeth Act V, Scene V)

She should have died hereafter;

There would have been a time for such a word.

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time,

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death.

Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

------------------------------------------------------

Caliban, The Tempest Act III, Scene II

--Be not afraid; the isle is full of noises,

Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.

Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments

Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices

That, if I then had waked after long sleep,

Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,

The clouds methought would open and show riches

Ready to drop upon me that, when I wak'd,

I cried to dream again.

-------------------------------------------------------

Lol... =X Got carried away. Gotta love Keats, Yeats, Wordsworth, Blake, Neruda and Shakespeare etc ;)

If you guys have got great poetry books or poems to introduce to me, do leave a message in my tagboard! I'm off to read again. 'Ta.

Quote of the night:

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Pfft.

Gawd, I'm so tired out.

After a wonderful week filled with holidays in the middle and whatnot, plus with more than 1/2 of the office empty during working days, I've slacked terribly. :P

Was up till late using the laptop on Thurs, but I managed to drag my lazy ass to Cine to watch The Legend of Zorro with Mel and went to Double-O after that.

Legend of Zorro isn't bad... I'm not entirely "wow-ed" by the show, but with a fascination for the 19th century, what with their corsets, gentlemen(even tho I much preferred Victorians) and the cute horse named Tornado, I'd found myself enjoying the movie.

So anyway, we went to Double-O afterwards to meet up with Mel's campmates. True, I've always loved the atmosphere there, but can I say b-o-r-i-n-g? First, I was in my office top, and even tho I find the top pretty hot, it wasn't what I had in mind.

Plus, the R&B totally suck. I'd rather go to Chinablack for that, or Zouk for the house, or MU for techno or something. Only their Saturday's retro nights are worth the icky Bacardi they serve there.

And dancing infront of the speakers, numbing my eardrums out? Not exactly fun-inducing after an hour or so. Lol.

I'd really wanted to have fun despite of the situation, and settled for a little bump and grind dancing with my bf since there's nothing much to dance to R&B. And what had I got? Funny looks because no one else was dancing that way. *Rolls eyes*

No fun for Jen Jen, no no.

*Sigh* Another short day tomorrow and a full work week will come again :( Only the thought of my payday on the 15th comforts me.

I'm not even sure if I wanna save for driving lessons anymore. I barely gotten my pay for 2 days and I'd spent $100 with nothing but a $20 bag to show for it.

Bleah.

HA, HA, HAHAHAHA!

*Laughs like a cackling, hunched-back old witch stirring green bubbling goo in her cauldron*

I KNEW I had something to blog about, but intense hunger(I haven't had my dinner) and constant excitement made it slip my mind.

PAY DAY, PAY DAY! MUAHAHAHA!

I've finally gotten my pay! *Waves her money and does her "Dance of Capitalism"* It's much more than what I'd calculated, and I'm glad. I can just imagine what I'm gonna buy and do! xD

Even the thought of saving them all for my college fund brings a smile to my face, tho I do want to hear the canorous sound of dollar notes in my hands before I save them all up.

Alright alright. Better not make you guys suffer from ennui with all my talk about money. But then, in a volte-face from a quixotic, wide-eyed girl who probably would rather survive on love and romance, it has been quite a vicissitude huh? Guess I've learnt my lesson afterall.

Now, onto the mission of spending my well-earned money! I'll update sometime soon ;)

Aww~

I was on the bus after work and passed by the Canadian International School, and aww, all the kiddos were so adorable!

Apparently they were celebrating Hallow's Eve early, so I saw little witches and their stereotype pointy hats and a particularly adorable red little pirate boy, with the frills and whatsnot.

Aww...

Too bad I most probably won't be able to go to a Halloween party since it's on Monday. 'Sides, I wanted to go as a female Night Elf, but I don't really have the figure for tights lol.

*Yawns* I hate the process of recovering from sickness. Still stuck with the bloody antibiotics and my back is all achy.

*Daydreams about James Marsters again* Ya know, apparently that's all I've been doing this year. At home, it's either eat, shower, sleep, reading BtVS/Angel fanfics or thinking about James Marsters.

Point of fact, my nearsighted-ness has worsened over the constant use of my laptop. Boo hoo! At least I'll be getting contact lenses this time ;)

I've officially gone blood shaggin' mad! (Hmm, I kinda realised I sound a lil like Austin Powers.)

Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny, baby, yeah, do I? What say, you, we go out on the down and swing, baby? Yea baby yea~!

*Toothy grin*

Can you believe it? I'm sick!

Bleah! It's been awhile since I got caught with fever, and this time I don't even know why.

I was okay in the morning, I even went to bed at 1am yesterday night(which is actually a vast improvement) and the fever didn't hit me until lunch time.

My body started aching like a horde of elephants had just ran me over, and I started shivering when I got back into the office.

Probably all because of that little drizzle during lunch time. And I was using a brolly!

Ended up taking a taxi back at 2pm. Just went to see the doc. Medicines.. Bleah.

I've got a MC for both today and tomorrow, and as tempted as I am to rest at home tomorrow, I kinda need the money since I've decided to save up for driving lessons =P

Yes, driving lessons! The terror..! I'm not so sure tho; I always get slight panic attacks when I test-drive for a bit, and the car always lurchs forward. Or maybe I panicked because the Honda Odyssey is a little too big for a newbie. Idk.

It'll be damn convenient if I have a license tho... I'll be able to drive Mel's car around when he's too lazy to do so.

Choices, choices. Mehh. Don't wanna use the brains too much right now, they're kinda burning up.

Oh why didn't I get sick tomorrow? ;P I'll update soon... K thx bye~

Yay

I've finished my Cruel Intentions and Gladiator download. That's a staggering 14 movies for me to watch at my own pace... Lol.

Was slightly late to arrive at the office today... But heck, like I give a damn. Tomorrow's Wednesday already; mid of the week and I'm loving it! Friday will arrive in a flash... :D~

I've developed a love for retro; '70s Rock n Roll/Rock this year... I'm TOTALLY addicted to Little Richard, Billy Idol, ACDC, Diamond Rio, even the Ramones, baby!

They're awesome. Makes me wanna be borned in that era... No, wait, I don't. Then I'll be too old now *scrunches up nose and frown*

Sigh... Bored.

@_@

Had my new baby niece's "full month" celebration earlier on... Booze, red wine and whiskey were broken out early, so I did drank my fair share.

*Burp*

Didn't drink much; did drink enough to feel soporific but I doubt I'll sleep early due to the allure of the laptop xD

My house was FILLED with people, 1/3 of em China, 1/3 of em old people, and the remaining 1/3 were relatives. Eileen, Jasmine and her bf Kenny, and I hid in our usual "sanctuary" place: My room.

My room's always for my cousins and the kids and my sis during family occasions or Chinese New Year. We'll always just lie on the bed or sit around to chat when we want to escape the noisy kids lol. It was fun. We basically played Dai Dee throughout the night before they had to leave.

Sigh... I wanna download Angel: The Series Season 2... But my connection's wooky here since I basically steal the Net with my wireless lan card =P so I'll have to get the season when I'm over at Mel's.

I have no idea why I'd rather download another season of a TV show than watch the accumulating amount of VCDs I've bought.

Lemme see... There's Mob Sister, Time Machine, Royal Tramp II(Lu Ding Ji), Possession, Casablanca, Miss Congeniality 1 & 2...

And I have Drum Line, Into the Blue, and Constantine on my laptop that I have not watch yet.

That should be all for now =X. Stupid Cash Converter just next to my block, and all the TS shops around!

Not to mention the fact that I'm currently reading Culture & Society In Britain 1850-1890, and Shakespeare: The Tempest right now; I'll never find time to watch my VCDs! =(

Blah I'm SO drowsy and achy right now... I slept at like, 4am last night and woke up at 7, but I really hate this lack of time for my hobbies and entertainment that I usually force myself to stay up till 1am+ in the morning.

Thank gawd I don't really have eyebags but my dark circles are HORRENDOUS. *Inner struggle* Blah... Guess I'll just have to stay up a bit more to see if my mind reigns over my body or vice versa.

6 more days to payday... Wee!

Election.

:O

Went to Cineleisure today with Mel to collect my Coca-Cola trexi doll from the Cineshop after some yummy Mayim noodles from West Mall...

Got myself the Miss Congeniality 1&2 VCDs I wanted too xD Yay!

We then decided to watch "Election" (Hei She Hui) and, what can I say? It didn't get nominated for 11 awards for nothing.



Eh, nice okay!

Not too much gory, and the fight scenes were pretty awesome, especially the one where Fei Ji aka Zhang Jia Hui fought off 5-6 men and pressed a knife on a guy's back, before he slowly stabbed it in.

I simply love movies that portray lives that we seldom get to see. In my impression(I couldn't find information about the movie on the net), the movie is based in the 60's-80's, mainly involving "society" politics and knife fights instead of guns.

There was no gun fights... Refreshing, but it took that bit of edge off the movie too. Which bigshot leaders won't carry a gun for self-defense?

I loved both the Jia Huis; Liang Jia Hui and Zhang Jia Hui. Superb acting! Not to mention cute xD Loved some of the characters like Tung Kun, the loyal fat guy who kept quoting the rules, Soo, fat Teng, and Fei Ji.

The irony that Ren Da Hua acted as Gu Wa Zai's leader and Liang Jia Hui acted as a Taiwan Triad boss before, was not lost on me, but I think they could hardly find anyone else better for the roles.

It was quite obvious that when it was revealed that there was a undercover cop, Louis Koo sprang straight into mind. And the fact that Ah Le, the elected chairman did the killing by himself, was mind-boggling.

I mean, yea, Da D was too greedy for his own good, but the point that Ah Le seems to move about with no bodyguards and killing Da D on the spot when he was such a smart person? I was flummoxed.

If not for those sodding groups and organisations that will protest, I wish the movie ended with a bang. Just like 1 TV movie a few years ago; Ren Da Hua was in it too, but he was a cop, and he and his team got killed in a guns shootout in the streets. All of em.

When the girlfriend was staring at the TV screen in shock, the credits rolled. Totally sweet!

So yea, the typical speech by 1 ex-triad member talking about how he regreted joining the gang, and how the last scene was that of a wire fence(aka meaning that you'll never escape the law) was a little anticlimatic for a wonderful show like this.

People nowadays :( They protest and complain about everything!

*Sigh* Anyway, I can't believe it's Sunday already. Weekends pass so fast~ Haveta go to work in a little more than 24 hours' time... Blah.


Thou Art Indeed Just...
Justus quidem tu es, Domine, si disputem tecum; verumtamen justa loquar ad te: Quare via impiorium prosperatur?

Thou art indeed just, Lord, if I contend
With thee; but, sir, so what I plead is just.
Why do sinners' ways prosper? and why must
Disappointment all I endeavour end?

Wert thou my enemy, O thou my friend,
How wouldst thou worse, I wonder, than thou dost
Defeat, thwart me? Oh, the sots and thralls of lust
Do in spare hours more thrive than I that spend,

Sir, life upon thy cause. See, banks and brakes
Now, leaved how thick! laced they are again
With fretty chervil, look, and fresh wind shakes

Them; birds build-but not I build; no, but strain,
Time's eunuch, and not breed one work that wakes.
Mine, O thou lord of life, send my roots rain.

- Gerard Manley Hopkins

Bloody hell...

My day was bad rotten. It still is. I typed out a whole chunk of blog just now and it disappeared because I lost my connection. :(~

After a tiring and lousy day at the office, I decided to take the free bus all the way to it's final stop, Far East Plaza so I could go buy the Spiderman vs Venom figurine my boyfriend wanted.

Yep, it's rather darn far from Cineleisure but I had time, so I trodded on.

10 minutes and 2 cigarettes later, I finally reached Cine before I realised I'd forgot where the shop was. I went up to the 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th floor repeatedly like a fool before I found it on the 4th lol.

I strolled purposefully towards the Cineshop, and asked to buy the figurine. Man, I got that girl surprised, seeing another girl walk in and asking to buy a $350 figurine within 10seconds. She was all "wow" and "whew" and almost dropped the statue when she took it out of the cabinet -.-

Somehow, they did not think of getting big plastic bags ready for the customers who might buy their displays in big-assed boxes. I mean, whatever do you price them for then?

I wasted 30minutes standing like a bloody overgrown child waiting to buy her Christmas present and they got me a lousy TRANSPARENT PLASTIC BAG! It's the giant version of the clear bags you use for candies, ya know?

All for this thing that costs me 1/3 of my monthly pay =( :


Thank goodness the money ain't mine.

So anyway, the bag naturally has no holes for me to grab through, so they spent another 15minutes searching for ROPES. Sodding gits.

The girl and manager finally returned with some pink raffle rope, and those tiny plasticy clear string and started to tie my box up. I could only stare in horror as they tied it into a cake like thing and even used the raffles to make 2 "handles" for me to hold on to.

What the hell.

They obviously won't hold; I didn't know what the manager was thinking about, so I decided to hail a cab home. When I'd eventually struggled to B1 through the crowd, the freaking ATM machines would only dispense $50 notes. (Yes, I'm poor, whatever do you want?!)

Blardy hell!!!

Pissed off, I headed straight for Somerset MRT station without thinking of finding another ATM machine.

People kept staring at me while I grunted, sweated, staggered and carried the box in both hands while struggling to keep my bag on my shoulder. Looked like a bloody fool was what I did =(.

On the escalator down to the station, some skaterboy/punk wannabes snickered at me, whispering that I couldn't afford a proper carrier.

I almost snarled at them, wanted to rip them apart with claws if I had em, but on deciding that they were just jealous they couldn't afford a Marvel collectible while a girly girl could, and that I am a self-sufficient woman of substance, I ignored them.

When the torturous journey was coming to an end, I heaved a sigh of relief, thinking that my bad luck is over for the night.

But no no, whoever the Powers That Be are, they thought I deserved more.

The ropes freaking SNAPPED!

ROAR!!!!!!!!

I almost screamed out in protest and I bet the heavens were laughing. Bastards Meanies. They sure have a wry sense of humor.

*Takes a look at the box with heavy eyes and shakes her head* Sigh. Whatever possessed me to collect it today? Must be bugs.

Oh well. I'ma go surf the Net and make use of my practically non-existent free time. Will show you my story of "A Glimpse of a day into Batman's life" soon. ;)


"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself."

Thank gawd.

The bugs in the posting a few days ago got on my nerves so I hadn't blogged since, even tho I did have quite a bit of things to talk about.

Went shopping for figurines at China Square last Saturday with Mel... As usual, there was no BtVS stuff for me, but I did get a Venom figurine for him and 6 PEZ dispensers for myself xD.

Deciding to keep the cost low, he treated me to Sushi Tei as my birthday dinner and we watched The Myth later at Cineleisure with our friends.

Yes, I know. Boring. But I wasn't in the mood for a big celebration as we quarreled earlier that day, and he nearly broke up with me the day before.

Anyhoo, I thought I would be able to be perked up on the 2nd, what with going to Escape with my god-bro and friends. I even got up early as they wanted and reached Pasir Ris at 11.30.

It turned out that only my god-bro arrived and after his treat of yummy Swensen's ice cream meal (4 sundaes, mind you! We almost couldn't keep them down.) and waiting for like, 1hour+, did the first couple arrived at 2.15pm.

Yes... The earliest arrival was late by 3hours. Some were still at home.

I was upset, definitely, but I didn't want to show it to Alan since he helped me plan and waited along with me. I was actually forced onto the cab by him because he feels that I should go have fun with my boyfriend since the friends were so "buay steady".

It wasn't so funny when after reaching my bf's house, I received a call from Alan that they have all met up and some of them wanted to make it up to me by going to the Kbox at AMK. Begrudgingly, I went and we sang from 8.30-11.30pm.

Frankly, if not for my god-bro, I don't think I would want to go. I'd rather spend some quality quiet time by myself and enjoy my birthday in peaceful solance.

Maybe I shouldn't have told Vincent that I wasn't celebrating my birthday and jio them for a tour around Singapore in our cars. It might have been fun with all the ideas they have.

All in all, my 20th birthday celebration was boring still rather alright.

Moving on to newer and happier subjects, I've found a job.

Yes, A JOB!!!11!!!1!!ONEONE!!1! *Throws confetti*

Yup, sure is time. Now I'm working at SIM(Singapore Institute of Management?) as an admin or sorts. Not sure. Just an office job in the exams department. Their Psychology and English courses certainly look interesting, but I'm getting VERY sick of the photocopier machine.

Thank gawd for the $7/hour and the 1.5x OT pay after 5.30pm. Not bad for a temp job. MUCH better than the one at LTA, though the workload at LTA is easy peasy compared to SIM.

Let's just hope what was told to me over the phone was true and the contract wouldn't come out otherwise.

Well, then. Time to surf the Net for a bit more and retire to bed.


Launching in

5

4

3

2

1


Houston, we have lift off. Jennifer Lim's boring life has officially launched into orbit.

Happy Birthday to Me!

• Happy birthday to me,
• Happy birthday to me~
• Happy 20th birthday,
• Happy birthday to me.

Have you ever felt so lonely?

Ever e-ever ever ee-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely (x6)
Lonely (x6)
Ee-ever felt so lonely
Lonely (x4)
Have you ever felt so lonely?
Lonely (x6)
Ever felt so (x4)
Remember the time
When you were here inside my dream
I wish you'll be mine
You're understanding what I mean
Discover and see
That you're the only one for me
Together we'll be free
That's how it's meant to be
[Chorus x4]
Have you ever felt so lonely
You're the one and only
Did you ever cry
Why did you say goodbye
Have you ever felt so lonely?
Lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely...
Ee-execute
Have you ever felt so lonely?
Lonely lonely lonely
Ever e-ever ever ee-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely (x4)
Lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely...
Ever felt so lonely
Lonely lonely lonely
Remember the time
When you were here inside my dream
I wish you'll be mine
You're understanding what I mean
Discover and see
That you're the only one for me
Together we'll be free
Thats how it's meant to be
[Chorus x4]
Have you ever felt so lonely
You're the one and only
Did you ever cry
Why did you say goodbye
Have you ever felt so lonely?
Lonely lonely lonely
Ever e-ever ever ee-ever felt so ever e-ever ever felt so lonely (x4)
Lonely lonely ...

Woot... ._.

Wah lao, I went to Penisular Plaza for an interview earlier today, and I stopped by MPH to see if they have Sept's Buffy mag, and I saw this covergirl on SNAG:



My old schoolmate, we haven't seen each other since graduating, but we do have each other on our Friendster list.

Sweet voice, friendly, loves baking, petite and gorgeous, demure, wah lao, back in secondary school, she used to bake cookies for her ex before school starts!

Anyway, I'm not les. It's just, she's so... WAH LAO.

I had a hard time believing someone's so perfect. But I guess she is.

Vote for her, Rykiel Toh, S8?


Sooo, anyway, back to me. Went to Service Communications, an agency(again), but this time they're asking me to be a consultant. As in those consultants you talk to when you go to a job agency.

Lol.

I'm willing to look at things with a pinch of salt, but I'm not sure if I can do it. I mean, even if I reject the consultant position, I can still acquire their service as a normal applicant.

Competitive, stressful sales oriented but fulfilling job, or an Admin/Sales job that I'm more confident in handling?

Haveta reply in a couple of days... Damn stress. Not sure what I should do.


AND HOW SHOULD I CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY!!! :(

Wow.

DON'T ask me why I'm up so early when I slept so late last night.

Anyway, I posted my resume on Friendsters' Classified a couple of days ago, and lo and behold! It's better than the Straits Time or other online jobs directories!

I have at least 7 emails so far, but of course, with Friendster, you have to expect some of the emails to look like this:

hi,

my name is frankie.
i saw your advertisement on friendster.
i run several business so you are keen on the freelance sales job.

ok. i have a printing company. at current we are outsourcing the sales job
to others.
the job scope is to do sales for our printing company.

if you are interested, email me.

ur pic on friendster is nice n sexy. are u attached? :)


And there I was, happily reading another potential job, until I reached the last sentence.

Crap.

It's either that kind, or this:


Date:
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 4:48:00 PM
Subject:
hi
Message:
can u just leave ur contact so i can arrange a interview session with u


No job details, no nothing. Replied and asked for his company info and I got nada reply.

It's either those who's sincerely offering you a job but wants to know you at the same time, or those who just want your number under the pretext of offering you a job. Pah.

Anyhoo, I got a call, from probably some woman from an agency who's recruiting for town area's customer service officer!

Well you know, those who sit there at the information counter like a doll most of the time? Heh. It's a 6 days work week, but a shift work of either 9am-3pm, or 3pm-9pm.

Seems pretty cool. The lady is sending out my resume, and I might have to go down to, bleah, Jurong for an interview later. So far... But I'm pretty psyched!

Shit... I didn't even notice.

My 20th birthday is coming in 1 week's time... And here I thought there's still 2 weeks to go. Lol.

When did my birthdays get so forgettable as years passed? I used to plan them in advance at least 1 month before. Now I don't even know what I intend to do next week.

Help me with the decisions, please?

1) BBQ on the 1st of Oct at Mel's place. That'll be my nieces if they can make it, Mel's friends and my own friends. But abit squeezy, leh... There'll be at least 6 of Mel's friends, at least 5 of my own friends, my 2 nieces, Mel's cousin whom I'll have to ask along, plus Mel and I = 16 minimum.

They do have a function room for me to book tho... Hmm.

2) Don't celebrate with Mel's friends. Go out on Sat/Sun with Mel to celebrate, and I celebrate on the day itself, which is Monday, with my own friends, prolly just a dinner, or whatever my god-bro can come up with.

3) BBQ at Mel's house on Sat but without my friends and nieces. Just the usual "hiadi" bunch; Zhi Zhong, Vincent, Bong, Louis etc... And KTV on Monday with my own friends.

4) KTV instead of BBQ on Sat(just like how I celebrated last year), dinner with friends on Monday.

5) Chinablack / Liquid Room / Music Underground on Sat with the usual bunch, but not gonna buy liquor, lah. No money! KTV/dinner on Monday.

Toughie :( It's not like I'll get any presents or ang baos from Mel's side, and even tho I'll get quite a bit of money from my own side, I doubt I want to spend them all. F.i.g.u.r.i.n.e.s.!

Moreover, I paid $200+ for the KTV celebration last year. Not something I would like to relive this year, paying for a whole group of friends when I planned KTV for low spending. At least I won't have to pay for Elaine and the others we've lost contact with this year.

Decisions, decisions... Since when did my birthday celebrations become so le chey instead of happy?

Sigh.

Look at this:

¤ Gawd... I didn't even notice that my Bday's coming in 1 week... How should I celebrate? =\ [www.jenxger.blogspot.com] ¤ says:
=.=

'Clarence; god bless those involved in Ms Hurricane Rita. says:
How you celebrating? Making babies with melvin ahs? Hahas

That made me realise I'd lost my identity, ever since getting into a relationship with Melvin.

I'm always Melvin's gf, or *****'s friend, blah blah. When was the last time people said "Wah, JenxGeR leh!" "Hey, Jennifer's here!" "Yo, Jen!", like I'm a integer part of the gang? "Gang" as in not being the only girl or whatever, but being accepted like a brother.

I used to be in the limelight with my friends. Now I don't know what I am anymore. My reliance on him for support and solace made me lost my independence and self-confidence... My god-bro thought so too.

He advised me to take some time to go travelling, or take a step and go overseas to study using the savings account I had since young. Just take a chance, and know my direction.

I agree that I need to know my direction... Where and what I should move towards, and get to know myself again. Get to be the Jennifer that her friends loved.

But what if I fail? All those who had been laughing at me... Even tho they want me to buck up, they've been looking down on me all the way... My family... Friends... Melvin... His family.

For 20 years, I lived my life the way my mother wanted me to. Good scores, top class, etc etc. She always penalised me for whatever small mistakes I made along the way, and when I fell 3 years ago; when I fell for the first time in 20 years, I was given a death penalty.

Aye, what the hell.

Read on the newspaper like, yesterday or a couple of days ago, that the government is considering to ban smoking throughout the island in 10 years' time.

Said that with smokers as a minority, the government should not be facing much opposition regarding that idea.

PAH!

Load of bull. Their tabulations are just the "official smokers". I don't see how they will be able to get an accurate calculation of smokers in Singapore anyway.

I guess when I'm 30 and invite my friends and business associates from overseas, this sign will be imprinted in their minds:


No profitable cigarette taxes which they already are having fun imposing, lesser tourists willing to visit because they smoke like chimneys.

I guess Malaysia will be laughing in one corner and profiting on the mistake that the Singapore government was dumb enough to make.



We'll be visiting Malaysia on weekends to puff up on their cheap cigarettes, and have our meals and shopping expeditions in the mean time.

First they banned chewing gums, now they're thinking of banning cigarettes. What's next, banning tissues because people always throw them on the floor after use?

If our government really ban it in 10 years' time, then...

Singapore,


Oops, will I get fined? In this case, "Singapore" is actually the name of my friend, Ah Kou's dog. =)

It feels like a bloody revelation...

I'd heard about what Mel's mum said to my mum last week, over the phone.

None pleasant, no respect for my mother when she spoke like that. Made me disrespect her all the bit more, but I guess I have her to thank for letting me have a bloody revelation.

No, wait, why the hell should I thank her? Ha. I rather thank my god-bro who rushed over right after hearing me cry over the phone, and the talk between my mum, him and I.

I'm gonna go for a morning run later or tomorrow morning, go scanning for a job in areas nearby, dye my hair with that dark copper red blond hairdye I bought a while back, and perm my hair somewhere next month.

A fresh start.

I know it's a ungodly hour to have such thoughts hit me, but damn, it feels good.

I've finally felt good about myself in what seems like years. A sodding light in my tunnel of darkness.

I'm no bloody saint; ain't gonna quit my smoking or drinking anytime soon, but DAMN,



I feel good!

Damn all those who discriminates me. Even if I deserve every criticism from your god-damned mouths, for being a fat, useless wastrel or whatsoever,



you can stick it back up yours.



I'm gonna do things how I like it, slow and easy. It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.



I do what I want when I want.



To borrow and edit a quote from William Ernest Henley,


"I am the bloody master of my fate: I am the freaking captain of my soul."





Sod off.

Ooh...

I had a really disturbing dream last night. It was actually a nightmare of sorts, but I slept through it soundly till I woke up naturally.

Um, it was sorta like scenes from a ghost movie - strange people, eerie surroundings and spine-tingling feelings.

I only remember bits and pieces of the dream, but I remembered that I dropped some of my stuff, one of them being my zippo, and I was about to enter a place that the someone who was after me, might be at.

When I entered and grabbed my stuff quickly, the items in my bag spilled because I was rushing off and did not zip up properly. As I bent down to pick up my bangles and keys, etc, I felt him behind me.

I took off and ran, shrugging out of my bag when he made a grab for me. I ran and ran, and when he finally caught up with me, we fought, and somehow a chopping knife(those you use to chop up vegetables, but slightly bigger) appeared in my hand and I pinned him to the ground soonafter.

Instinct told me that the only way to stop him is to go for the kill. His right hand caught mine and we struggled for the knife. My position on top gave me the advantage... And I slowly drew the knife through his heart, and carved it across a couple of times to make sure.

Eeriely like a scene from Saving Private Ryan, between the German and US soldiers. They ran out of bullets and struggled with a jungle knife... Did I mention how much that movie grossed me out? I watched that months ago though.

The knife went thru him like butter... But it still did not kill him.

I then brought the knife up towards his throat, and sliced him slowly through the right to the left. After decapitating him, I simply ran, and did not bother to check if he was truely dead.

Nope, I don't remember the face of the man. I wasn't really afraid of him; Like I said, the dream would have woken me up if I was terrified.

The mysterious man in the dream was more like someone who wished to cause me harm, and I wanted to avoid and escape him... But he was too insistent. So I had to do the deed.

Worst thing tho? I had a happy while carving his heart and looking at his face.

Prophecy? Hope not. Woke up with a weird feeling in my guts and I don't really wish to relive it again.

Brrrr.