1.24am, Leonard: He don't want you why you still want him??
Indeed...
I really thought Mike and I were happy. He sounded happy. I WAS happy. I thought we were having a great time together... I guess it was all just one-sided.
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I just went on a first date with a guy who's more of my age (36 this year) than Mike. He apparently went through a nasty breakup earlier this year, so we were kind of similar in respect to how we see our current situation, and the whole dating game.
We both want to move the fuck on, but sometimes, we just want to retreat into ourselves. Some times, we meet the right person at the wrong fking time, because we've not moved on from our previous relationship - But we still try to date, all for the singular possibility that this might be the person I can move on with, just like Mike, whom I moved on with from Randy.
We spent the better part of 6 hours together tonight at Robertson Quay, but at one point during the night when we discussed why we got onto Tinder, there was this lingering sadness in the air for the both of us.
O is a perfectly nice guy - good-looking, nice career, good head on his shoulders, and apparently cooks fabulous Italian dishes; but did we meet each other at an appropriate moment? Are we both ready to move on?
I don't know. All I know is that I got home, and I started crying thinking about Mike.
And I hate that.
Monday, July 20, 2015
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